not how it's supposed to go

i say, "believe in one thing, i won't go away"

It's been awkward and tense and every worst feeling possible, but Yelena's found it impossible to cave. She can't help it, she doesn't know how to help it, and she hates it. Because over the last few days, the feeling of wanting to be around Natasha has swelled in her chest and the angry feeling has only grown in response to it.

Kate's been hanging out with the kids and Wanda and Natasha have been working on making their house more livable, so Yelena's been on her own.

That all changes today, though, she decided.

She's been up a couple of hours already, had her run around Clint's farm, ate a breakfast that Laura practically had to shove down her throat (she knows she's been on her own for almost four years now, but she still forgets to eat on a regular basis. Choices are hard, she's learned), and now she's dressed for a whole new adventure.

This one, scarily, involves recruiting Natasha to spar with her. She's telling herself that it's because Kate's lack of experience is getting a little boring (in the nicest way possible, she can't help that Kate's still learning while that's been all Yelena's known), but a voice in the back of her head whispers that it's because she's now willing to try.

She goes downstairs and into the kitchen to fill her water bottle, catching a look from Laura.

"Where are you going?"

"Workout," Yelena says simply, not wanting anyone's opinion on her true plan. This is for her .

"Well, make sure you get back in time for dinner, okay?" Laura asks, giving her that mom look that Yelena's grown accustomed to. Yelena nods, giving her a small smile, and Laura clears her throat, "By the way, get in some patriotic colors. It's the Fourth of July."

"I'm Russian," Yelena pouts, taking a sip from her water before twisting the top securely.

"And all Kate wears is purple, but even she dressed up," Laura responds, "Besides, Sam's coming and he's literally Captain America."

Sam and Bucky, post-call where they found out Natasha is, in fact, alive, decided to come up for the holiday and spend time with the ever-growing family.

"Got it, Captain America is coming," Yelena nods affirmatively before dipping out the front door.

She walks towards the area of the woods that Natasha and Wanda's house is buried in, nerves pricking when she sees the house and that little bit of sweat building in her palms again.

She ignores it, walking up and knocking loudly on the door only twice, knowing they've heard it.

Wanda answers the door and Yelena has to stop herself from rocking on her heels as she speaks, "Yelena? What's up?"

"Is Natasha here?" Yelena asks, ignoring the part of her tempted to move around and do anything other than stand on this balcony. Stay still, she reminds herself, the echoes of her instructors telling her that she was marble loud in her head.

Wanda looks surprised, but she masks it very quickly, "Uh, yeah, she's out back."

"Thank you," Yelena nods, dismissing herself and walking around the house to the back. She waits for a second, flexing her fingers and twiddling with the cap of her water bottle.

Natasha's working on her bike, hair pulled into a tight french braid down the back of her head and now all red, blonde gone. It's almost comforting to see Natasha as she remembers her.

It doesn't last long before Natasha sees her, a little bit of surprise on her face as she stands and dusts herself off, "Hey. What're you doing here?"

Deep breath in, deep breath out.