not how it's supposed to go

sorry, i can't see facts through all of my fury (you haven't met the new me yet)

"Why look at something that's not there?" Yelena says and Natasha feels sick. Yelena's arguing with her again, it's like she's back in that place , that void, except she's tasted excitement again and this time it hurts so much more.

"I'm right here, Yelena, what are you talking about?" Natasha hates how her voice breaks and how Yelena still won't look at her.

"Are you really?" Yelena exclaims, her voice still strong even though she's not yelling with her chest. "Who's to say you don't just throw yourself off another cliff? What's the point in getting attached, huh?"

It's a low blow. A really low blow, but sometimes, they hurt more, and this is one of those times, "Yelena, what is this about?"

Yelena finally looks up at her and all Natasha can see in her eyes is pure anger. It's almost scary.

"You fucking died, Natasha! I had to get over losing you once when I was a fucking child, then I really lost you right after I got you back! And the second time was worse because there was nothing I could do! One second you're there and five seconds later, you're dead!"

"Then why are you so mad that I'm alive?" Natasha yelled, "I'm back, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Bull shit !" Yelena yells back, "I moved on! I grew up, I made my own family and I finally found something to live for! Because you fucking abandoned me, again !"

Emotion bubbles in Natasha's throat and clouds her mind so badly that she almost can't think. Why does Yelena have to be so angry ? She did her best, she tried, didn't she?

"Yelena..."

"No! No. You do not get to do that. You made your goddamn choice to live your life and end it as you pleased. I have my own life now," Yelena clenches her fists and Natasha doesn't think she's ever been so scared of her sister before. She's like a loose wild wire right now with sparks and no one knows how to turn it off.

"You left me all alone. I finally put myself together again and now you come back from the fucking dead just to rip me into pieces! Again!"

"Yelena, I never meant to-"

"That's the thing, Natasha," Yelena levels her a cold glare, "You never meant to do anything. And most of the time, people don't mean to forget, they just do. And I am so tired of being forgotten."

With that, Yelena pushes past her and walks off towards the woods, leaving Natasha utterly shellshocked and free of words.

-

Kate's relieved when she finally finds Yelena.

She's back at the rock spot they found this morning, sitting with her head in her knees and arms wrapped around herself. It's not a sight that Kate's used to, that's for sure.

"Lena," she tries, hoping she doesn't startle the assassin at all. She's done it before and was in a headlock before she could even process that Yelena noticed her. Yelena apologized profusely, and it hasn't happened since, but they both remember it vividly.

"You walk loud," Yelena says softly, not moving.

"That's not the first time you've said that," Kate responds, sitting next to her on the rock. It's quiet out here with only the sounds of some animals and the trees rustling in the wind. If it hadn't been for the screaming match that brought them out here, she thinks that she'd like sitting here for hours and thinking.

"You have loud steps," Yelena replies, now turning her head to look at her. Despite the obvious remnants of crying on her face, there's a small smile on her lips. Kate's heart warms at the fact that she can still make Yelena smile.