[satosugu] saturday night live || moonlilies

((╯ರ ~ ರ)╯︵ ┻━┻

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✰Omoide no yokocho✰ episode #32 transcript — excerpt  〚August 11, 2018〛

SUGURU: How have you been, Satoru?

SATORU: I literally came by your apartment earlier. We outlined this episode. Are you a goldfish—Suguru, should I dunk you in a bowl of water so you can live?

SUGURU: That was for formalities, you d—

SATORU, near the microphone: We are a rated G podcast for some reason so I suggest you refrain from talking. Shoko. Hey Shoko? I'm taking over now.

SUGURU: I can't let you usurp me.

SATORU: Give it up, there's nothing to usurp anyway.

SUGURU: We'll see.

SATORU: Well I certainly won't because of my glasses. So our agenda for today is...drumroll please!

SUGURU: DUDUDUDUDU—

SATORU: That is one ugly drumroll, Suguru.

SUGURU: How would you have me do it then?

SATORU: Something like brrrr—

SUGURU: That is a disgrace to all sound effects everywhere.

SATORU: No! It's brilliant.

SUGURU: It's kinda like a marching band drum.

SATORU: That's what I meant!

SUGURU: Oh you didn't mean modern drums?

SATORU: Who the hell means modern drums when they say drum roll?

SUGURU: Modern drummers.

SATORU: The expanse of your mind is unfathomable.

SUGURU: To you.

SATORU: Lies.

SUGURU: I don't lie.

SATORU: [pause] Whatever. Anyway, here's our agenda, now with no drumroll!

SUGURU: [muffled laughing]

SATORU: He's laughing at me. Look at him laughing at me. We should make a 4D podcast so you guys can see everything that happens here.

SUGURU: You can do it with your astrophysics degree.

SATORU: That's not quite right, I think that's more in line with particle physics. Actually I should have gotten that...well. Anyway, as I was saying, our agenda. Today we're going to talk about missing people.

SUGURU: Yes. Missing people as in, people who are missing? Or is it people who are being missed?

SATORU: Today we're preparing a special episode about us missing people who'll eventually return. But Suguru, do we know for certain that they're returning?

SUGURU: I sure hope I do, at least.

SATORU: Yeah, me too. Alright! So, we have guide questions here like fucking—high school students—

SUGURU: Flashback to Satoru saying we're a rated G podcast.

SATORU: You know I lie.

SUGURU: Unfortunately.

SATORU: I do it for the betterment of everyone.

SUGURU: Also unfortunately. Because Satoru here keeps getting sidetracked, I'll be saying his part of the outline. So we have guide questions here which we actually weren't supposed to tell you guys that they exist, but here they are. We'll both be answering them as we go along so this podcast episode is 100% authentic because we didn't rehearse anything.