Oceans In The Stars (KleunNuea oneshots )

love became...

As much as his mind knew, something in him still twinged. Am I going to lose you? He wondered, only to realise he'd asked the question out loud.

Falling in love, he supposed. Was nothing like falling apart.

He'd heard somewhere before that whoever came up with the term 'falling in love' must have fallen out of it, since the words "falling" denoted something else…but something about it captured the fragility of it, the vulnerability of prising the buds of your heart open and offering it to someone without knowing what they'd do with it. Offering it in decadent hope that they'd return their flower. Silently, he felt the sunflower in his hand, quivering in hopes of being passed to another. It shriveled under her care, he realised. And he held onto it tightly.

And falling apart...falling apart was simply when you were at the end of the road, nearing the pitchfork of a road, when he was at the end of the yarn he'd been following. Falling apart was the feeling of being destroyed, being dropped so carelessly you shattered into a million little shards, all while wondering if you'd ever be the same again. It was the feeling of agonizing pain that thrummed through one's heart, blade searing through flesh even as the mind screamed to run away. And the truth was that you would never be the same. Not matter how many tiny shard you took and meticulously pieced together, there would always be something missing. Maybe it wasn't something vital, but something about it would never be the same.

Sometimes love was like that. And sometimes it was like the Japanese art of kintsugi. The art of taking something broken and fixing it with something precious, in shimmering gold, to fix up the cracks of what was and what was to be. To make something better by accentuating its flaws and strengths. That was the contrary nature of love. Even down to the chemical expression of love.

Oxytocin, Dopamine and Serotonin. The hormones made up love, but if any were in excess, things went haywire. Because love was great, and that made it as dangerous as it was safe.

She shook her head somberly. "We'll always be friends. That doesn't change." But tears continued streaming down her face, her eyelashes downcast. I'm not sure how this is going to end.

Silently, he patted her back. "Then thank you, Gia. And good luck," he whispered softly, before moving his hands back onto his lap.

Gia looked straight at him, smiling at him lopsidedly. A mixture of relief and anguish crossed her features, and Khabkhleun wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. So he simply kept quiet.

“I hope that one day, you’ll find someone who holds you. Who loves you, the way you do them. I’m not the one for you, Khleun. You know this. We both know it.”

I do.

But that kind of love was all he wanted, all he wished for in a world without warmth, a world without love. Except that wasn't exactly true. There was love floating around. It just wasn't for him. Not in the way he craved it, the way he wanted it. The love he got were shreds, slips, that only left him yearning for more. He knew that he'd never own a heart.  Not any but his own, but he hoped. Not for a heart, but for a person. To love, to treasure, who would love him as much as he did them.

So when he clasped his eyes on the other, he just knew. He didn't know how or why, but he felt drawn to him, in a way that words failed to express. His eloquence and poise failed him, for the first time in decades. He felt his throat run dry at the sight of him, and he couldn't help but fall into the ocean he talked, every treble and clef like music to his ears, a melody destined and blessed for his ears. He loved the way chocolate eyes held his, the way fingers threaded through his, bringing him closer. Adored the warmth of a body pressed against his, as if to shield him from the monsters of the night.  Every brush of skin set him aflame, and he couldn't imagine the flame ever dulling.

Not that it mattered much to him if it did, because every flicker of flame was replaced by a steady stream. Love was an odd entity, pulling him into it in so many odd ways. Love whispered against his ear like gilt music, brushing against his skin the same way fingers wrapping around his waist did, stained in ink and magic. The same way sandalwood clung onto every crevice of his skin, seeping into its pores just as love had sunk into his heart, an unspeakable, unshakable anchor.

Love was a river, love was a stream.
He knew it
but love was a raging wildfire
Love was a forest he'd feared as a child, too afraid to explore,
only to tread through it when he was older, to give him solace from the noise in the world
one he couldn't silence. And wouldn't
love became lingering touches, the ghost of kisses.
Became a whisper of 'i love you," between cuddles.
Love became something true

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A/N: 1580 words! Finally done with this Oneshot- CynthiaBorrego. chocolatewithtea. DracosForever. ManuAndhale. masked8. Here's the completed scene! I'm honestly kind of scared by the scene, I'm not sure how it is, but it gave me partial anxiety...