Once Upon a Heart

9 # Homecoming

“You were right Mr.Maheshwari! I earn my living through this job but it's not because of the money.  I am in this job because I like making people better. I know how it feels not having anyone to care for you … I suffered enough. If I could take away at least one percent of their pain, I would be happy. That’s what I was trying to do.

 I am saying this again. Healing hurts sometimes. It does. Sometimes it rips you apart. You will choose to suffer than to heal because living through the same pain scares you, but if you don't, you never heal.” Her tone somewhere subdued from angry to upset.

“Please let people in, Mr.Maheshwari. Please open up once and look around. You have so much love around you. Now It's up to you ” She sighed defeatedly “And I had to make this point before I leave,” she turned back, collecting Tara’s toys. Thankfully Mrs. Brazgana had Tara. She wouldn’t lash out before her.

Sanskaar didn't move for long, his eyes watching her movements, but her words reeled and played over and over his mind… but above all, what he felt was fear …fear he would be alone again. He would be back into darkness. 

“You are not going anywhere, Miss Bose,” This time it fell somewhere between plea and order.  “I am not letting you go,”

And he could sense softness vanish and temper flare in her eyes.  “Orders again? Not working” She snapped.

“Let me explain.”It was only a plea. His eyes echoed the same, but she wasn't going to fall for it though how sincere it felt. 

“I think we have said enough to each other Mr. Maheshwari. It's time to call it quits.” She turned her back to him but did not expect his next move. He grabbed her hand and the next minute she was staring into his eyes …deep & dark.

A minute passed. Then another. Why didn’t she notice before, the depths of them? She thought she missed a few breaths as his eyes gazed into hers … straight.

“I listened to every word you said and I accepted each of it, but you will not deny me the chance to be heard, Swara Bose” His voice was slow and sharp. She has never seen anyone combine pain and fury in the way he did. If his warning held an edge to shoot a shiver, his plea didn't miss to resonate with what he felt.

She realized they were close,  close enough to feel each other's breath but it was their eyes that held each other. He slowly released her hand .. but she didn't move. She wanted to hear.

“You were right! I pushed everyone away because I was sure they couldn't understand what I felt. But I wish I had someone who would have held onto me even When I threw them away …because I had no clue …how to handle the pain and how to seek help.I was in a mess for so long. Maybe I forget how it feels to be helped.  But then….

He paused as if he was gathering thoughts. His eyes didn't leave hers. They no longer simmered with anger rather he felt them soften. He felt they were speaking to him, urging him to go on. He was glad she didn't put the distance between them. He needed her close… to dissolve his fear, that dread of her leaving. She held her breath as he paused and let out a sigh as he finished what he left hanging.

“You came in” 

There was gratitude she couldn't miss, in the way his eyes searched hers, the way his words softened to a whisper.

“When you claimed you were gonna change my life forever, I didn't believe you but now If there is anyone who I believe can do that … It's you. He inched a step close and Swara didn't realize she might have forgotten to breathe for a second.

His hand held hers and their fingers twined as if they had a will of their own.

“I need you, Swara.”