No More Heroes: Pacifist Run

Chapter 2: The High Life

***Fan Notes: Obviously, I am not 313ctr1cLOv3. Just a fan who didn't want this work thrown in the trash. This is all the chapters are written, author notes and all.

Summary:

"When you have the strength to take life for yourself... That is true wealth."

Notes:

after not updating for 5000 years I LIVE. big thanks to who helped beta this!!

Chapter Text

"Dude, what the fuck?" Travis stared at the camera. "You let me monologue for that long and then you press the A button? Douchebag!" Travis went down the motel stairs and to his motorcycle.

Cut to him as he raced towards the mansion at high speeds, and prepared to-- wait, wait fuck. He slammed on the brakes and skid the bike to a stop before he could run into the mansion gates. Not even through the first cut-scene and already this was getting complicated. Maybe he could still crash the bike through the gate, wreck the fountain, and... not kill the lackeys? And then what, let them pump lead into him? Did they count on this pacifist run, or was it only spare the bosses? No, he couldn't pussy out of this. It's either all or nothing (regarding blood on his hands, anyway).

He paced outside of the gate. Plan B: Tell them he's delivering a pizza, and that's why the bike is so big, it's to store the pizzas. Only problem is this would actually require having a pizza to deliver. Fuck, there was no way he could go through this mansion without someone on his ass. If only there was some way around this mansion... Travis looked up. Or... some way up the mansion.

... Fuck it, he's spidermaning this.

---

"Quite beautiful, wouldn't you say?" Death Metal gazed at the sea. "Paid for by the lives of many." He swished his wine. He didn't bother to look at the assassin that approached him. It'd be all over soon. "When you have the strength to take life for yourself, that is true weal--"

He was cut off as Travis screamed and crashed onto the marble tile. Astounded, Death Metal turned his head to see Travis get up with a nosebleed from the impact. "Whatever you just fuckin' said, repeat it. I didn't hear it from the roof."

"The roof?" Death Metal looked up. Then back at Travis. "So... you bypassed all my guards? Rather cowardly of an assassin--"

"Can the speech old man."

"Not willing to humor the words of the old man you intend to kill?"

"I'm not here to kill you."

Death Metal paused. He sat his wine down and got up. "... Then what the fuck are you here for? Are you a burglar? Is that it? You might as well take something if you came this far, I have more than enough--"

"I'm not a burglar! I'm still in the rankings."

Now Death Metal appeared more bewildered than before. "But... you're not here to kill me..."

"Yes."

"Then," Death Metal said, exasperated. "Why are you in the rankings? You are aware of what the 'UAA' stands for, correct?"

"Yeah, I fuckin' do! I'm not an idiot!" Travis paused. "Or... that much of an idiot-- look, I'm here because I have to be. It's a self imposed challenge-- I wanna see if I can get through this without killing anyone."

"An 'assassin' who doesn't want to kill anyone..." Death Metal chuckled, amused at the very thought. "Certainly one hell of a paradox... tell me, then, what was your plan if you're not intending to kill me?"