This is me!

Hey, this is me and one time something funny happened to me, I'm so poor, last night I ate a bird, anyway not important (but may I add, I still have bits of bird in my beard) sometimes, I have to scare people away from McDonalds, just to get some food. My pet is rare type of flamenco, that I stole from the zoo, his name is Scruffs. Last week, I went to the cinema to see the only film that was in my poor person budget, it was called Twilight and we all know how 'popular' that is. Also, I am Justin Bieber's biggest fan, I sent him a letter every day, until he got a restaining order against me. My favourite TV show is the kids show Wonderpets. I watch it, with my face pressed up against the TV store's window. I sleep in Cost Plus Sofa's every night, I get away with it, because I pretend to be a really ugly manneguin. My name is Sir Chubbs Worrington, Chubbs to my friends. My father is a millionare, who I fell out with over nothing, like he cares if I stole 50 million euros of him, to star in my own reality TV show, Catching up with Chubbs.

End of book 1.