Random ass oneshots

His name is Likquor (pronounced lick-quar)

I was only 46 when it happened. I know I was really young. *cough* Anyways, I was sitting on a bench in the park on a Tuesday day, and this little girl came up to me and asked if I had money for ice cream. I said no then she took out a gun and told me to give her some money for ice cream. I was scared I didn’t know what to do. I didn't have any money. I was just sitting on the bench and so I did what any man would do. I screamed like a brave woman. The girls mother ran up to us and yelled at the little girl. (Average kid activities honestly.)

“Zara! What did I tell you about threatening strangers!” She yelled at her daughter. She turned to me “I am so sorry for her behavior!” She told me. This woman was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen and so like any young attractive man would do, I asked her out on a date.

On the date we were sitting there telling each other about ourselves when I saw this young girl she looked to be around 17 years old. I dumped the old hag that I had originally gone on the date with and went up to the teenage girl.

“Hey. Why don’t you go home with me tonight?” I asked her. She agreed.

And that was how I met my wife

I had learned that the girl was actually 16 and that her name is Queeferina, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Queeferina had long brunette hair and a beautiful smile. She had eyes blue like the sky and curves in all the right places. She didn’t mind my age because my attractiveness makes me look young. I’m rich and live in a mansion so I basically became her sugar daddy but we fell in love and got married. She ended up pregnant 4 years into our relationship and 3 years after we got married. She ended up having Triplets, we named them Nor, Maln, and Ames.

Her parents weren't very happy when they met me but it's fine no one has seen them in two years so I don't have to worry about them not approving of me.

The more I think about it it's kinda weird that they just disappeared. It's not my problem. Anyways that's the story of how I met my beautiful wife Queeferina.

update: It's 3:44am and I'm going through all of these and I can't stop laughing. I don't wanna wake my mom tho.