I won't Tell

Part Twenty-Two

"And then you were crying." My heart started racing as he was still talking.

"And then you started thrashing in your sleep." My eyes were starting to fog over.

"I know," I whispered back. He gave me a sad smile as he pulled me forward and kissed my lips so sweetly. He held me there till suddenly we heard a gasp. We both jumped back in complete fear. Turning we saw Gemma standing there with her mouth hanging and Jake turned toward us as well.

"Do you believe me now Jake?!" She yelled.

I looked over at Harry terrified out of my fucking mind. But he looked just as frazzled.

"Gemma," Harry said calmly.

"This is a joke right?" She said chuckling dryly.

"Gemma," Harry said more sternly.

"You are joking right?!" She was fuming.

"Look, I need you to relax," At this point, Harry had already started walking over to her calmly.

"Babe, I am going to call you back later," With that, she hung up on her fiance.

"Plea-" Harry started but was cut off.

"-Harry fucking Edward Styles!" She yelled flailing her arms. He gave into defeat and just let her go off.

"I can not believe you! Are you joking?! Really?! And of all people, Louis?! Seriously?! I left everything, changed my fucking lifestyle, helped raise you, saved you from dad and then you go run off and start -I don't even know what- With Louis!!" I let my head fall knowing that anything remotely friend like that Gemma and I had created this morning was completely gone.

"Can I please explain?" He asked desperately.

"What is there to fucking explain?! If I remember correctly just like three weeks ago maybe you were telling me about how you couldn't even stand the name, Louis! And now here you are with your legs doing whatever the fuck, and your hands and fucking kissing him!!"

I couldn't take it. my heart rate was probably higher than the stars and my ears were probably internally bleeding. It was just like when I was younger, like my dream. Two people screaming at each other throwing my name around making me feel miserable. 

I was trying to stay calm taking deep breaths like that first time I had to have blood drawn and Harry to me to breathe and just think about daffodils, which happen to be my favorite. 

My body went limp. My ears were numb. My lips were stuck. Yet my mind was racing. I just wanted to grab the knife that was in the knife block, and just end my life. Right here. Right now. Then I wouldn't have to deal with all of this shit. 

So that is what I planned on doing. I got up, walked into the kitchen, went over to the knives, and picked out the largest one. I twisted it in my grip first admiring how shiny it was. I was so ready to just start slitting till I would eventually fall dead.

I placed the knife on my upper left forearm and slowly started pressing it in while dragging it across my arm. I hissed out in pain. Once there was a nice long deep line on my arm I went to do another one but my name was screamed.

"LOUIS!! Oh my god!" Harry came running over to me. I made no effort to move. My face was blank. I felt him pull the knife out of my hand and then gently grab my slit arm. His hands were soft yet they were trembling. But still, somehow they were so delicate and just so lovely.

"Gemma! Go get me the first aid kit!" He screamed again. I winced at how loud he was. He noticed.

"Sorry," He whispered. I was guided to the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid. Gemma came running in with the kit in a matter of seconds. The cotton swabs were being placed against my open gash. It was so fucking painful.