Heidi and the Wolf

35.

Wow, I can only apologise for how long this actually took. I have new ideas and I'm refusing to start them until I finish TWOPL, as it'll never get finished otherwise. Can you believe I have a 10 month old?! I got a new job in February as a preschool teacher too, so my time as you can imagine has mostly been taken up by work and family. Anyway, enough about me, here's the long-awaited chapter 35! 

I didn't leave the hospital for another week. A week in which I was questioned and gruelled, prodded and poked and by the time my discharge papers were signed I was about ready to leap out of the dreary hospital room window. Since awakening, I had been transferred from the ICU to a recovery ward and sharing a room with several other unwell strangers was on high on my 'fuck this, never again' list. 

"Bye Bye honey, you take it easy now," came a frail voice from the bed opposite mine, the seemingly permanent residence of little, old, Val who had fallen a couple of months ago, but wasn't well enough to leave the care of hospital. She was one of the only people whom I could tolerate on this ward and I would miss her. 

"Bye Val, I'm going to miss our four pm tipping point reruns," I smiled at her, outwardly gleeful to be leaving as Mason wrapped my jacket around my shoulders. 

"Oh me too, but I'll just wrangle the next poor sod who ends up in your bed," she gave me a cheeky wink and I couldn't help but let out a small giggle. Val had all her wits about her, but her body just couldn't keep up. Mason squeezed my hand gently, pulling me back into the present and I covered his hand with my own to reassure him that I was coming. 

"Just let me check I have everything," I murmured, letting go of his hand as I checked around the bed for anything I had left behind. 

"I've got it all babe, come on, I think Isaac is waiting outside with the car." 

I nodded, "Sure, but I need the toilet first." 

I headed out towards the ward toilets and locked myself in a cubicle when the reality suddenly hit me. I was really, really stalling. I didn't even need to wee, so why was I in here? I wanted to leave, I had never been so bored or drained in my life and I couldn't eat another plate of hospital food, so why was it taking so long for me to actually leave the ward? I shook my head and ran my hands through my hair, taking a long deep breath before standing up and flushing to pretend I had actually been. 

I washed my hands thoroughly, staring at myself in the mirror. In all honestly, I hadn't changed much. I was still the same old Heidi, long brunette hair that needed a bit of a cut, brown eyes that perhaps had lost a bit of their sparkle, generally plain body that maybe was a little bit skinnier than it was before. I took another look and suddenly, I morphed before my very eyes. My hair was haphazardly cut, shorter on one side than the other with bits of baby hair tufting out at every possibly angle. My eyes were rimmed with dark, yellowed bruises and my eyes were dull...like mud. I wasn't just a little bit skinny, my clothes hung off my frame and I felt dwarfed by my jacket that once clung to my curves. 

I couldn't leave like this. Let everyone know what happened to me? Show them how awful I looked? How could I leave the safety and comfort of the ward and back outside where every person I looked at could be hiding a deep and terrible persona? Anyone I looked at could be an abuser or a psychopath. 

Or a wolf. 

Of course, most of the lycans I knew were lovely, but I didn't even suspect Dan was anything other than human. Evil yes, but still human. I took a shuddery breath and tried to stop the tears from leaking, I caught a couple before they could escape down my cheeks but the damage had already been done, my eyes were now tinged with red and the wolf just outside would smell the salt of my tears. I thought I was over it, but deep down I knew that a week would never be long enough to recover mentally. Physically I was almost healed, but mentally I wasn't sure my psyche could ever bounce back.