Insecurities

. . .

    Jaskier woke up with an empty spot next to him. He sat up and looked around the room. It was small and Geralt was nowhere to be found. The door to there room was cracked open a little bit and so he got up to go look for his lover. 

    The door opened with a creak. The inn was practically empty outside of a few stranglers drowning their sorrows at the bar. Geralt was not among them. Jaskier walked up to the bar to see if the barkeep had seen him anywhere. 

    “Have you seen a tall man, white hair, quite scary looking?”The man pointed at the front door of the inn. Just outside the door was Geralt, leaning against the wall looking up at the sky. 

    “Couldn’t sleep?” Jaskier inquired.  Geralt hummed softly and continued staring up at the night sky.  He had dark circles under his eyes and generally looked quite tired. Jaskier leaned against the wall next to him and looked up at the stars. He could tell something was wrong. He grabbed Geralt's hand gently and intertwined their fingers.

    “You know you can talk to me right?” He looked up at his lover. Geralt looked down and opened his mouth to speak but changed his mind. They stood there for at least five minutes before Geralt let go of his hand and looked at his eyes. 

    “Can we go inside?”

    “Of course love.” Jaskier said softly. 

So they went back to their small room. They stood close as they walked. Geralt sat on the edge of the bed and Jaskier followed. They sat in silence for a while before Geralt finally spoke. 

“This is hard for me.” He looked down at the ground. Jaskier sat patiently, ready to listen. 

    “This,” he gestured back and forth between the two of them. 

    “It’s new to me. I'm not very good at relationships. The ones I've had haven't exactly ended well.” He trailed off for a moment. 

    “I don’t know if I’m ready. If even deserved something like this…” he looked at Jaskier.

    “Or someone like you.” Geralt put his hand on jaskiers leg and jaskier leaned on his shoulder. 

    “I’m worried one day it’ll all go away. That I'll do something wrong and lose you forever.” Jaskier took Geralt's hand in his.

    “That’s not going to happen. I’m sticking around whether you like it or not.” He had no way of telling if his words had helped or not but he wasn’t sure what else he could do to reassure Geralt. Another short time of silence and Jaskier looked up at the Witcher. His eyes were teary. Geralt rarely cried and when he did, he tried to keep it to himself. Jaskier embraced him and held him as tight as he could. Geralt soaked his shoulder in tears. 
    Jaskier rubbed his back and did the best he could to comfort him.  He couldn’t help but tear up himself. It was hard to see Geralt like this. When they pulled away from each other both of their eyes were red and teary. 

    “I love you Geralt. I always will.” Jaskier caressed his face. 

    “I know,” Geralt took Jaskiers hand and kissed it.

    “I love you too.”