Softly, Softly

Thoughts on My Time of Emergence

I feel the need to record this period meticulously. I do not know what will come from my Time of Emergence. I feel deep inside of me that I will  be stripped of everything that I know. Perhaps I'd like the safety of being able to trace my way back. So I must write what I know. 

Two suitors have arrived today from the cities of our allies.

The first is Prince Theo of Fen. He is of the fairy folk. It is no secret that his city is in the midst of a deep and gruesome famine. The people of Fen have long been led by their spirits. They have supplied our great city of Castoro with the guidance and foresight of their elders for many centuries. But no foresight in the world could save them from the consequences of their meek leadership. Their loose grip on their people has resulted in panic and starvation. Prince Theo's coming marks Castoro's first interaction with Fen's fiercely private royal family. With any of their people, in fact. Our sparse meeting with the elders are our only connection to the world that exists behind Fen's secretive walls.

The second suitor is Prince Rishi of Balva. It is our rival city, always second. Balva has never stood a chance. But the promise of competition is necessary to keep our economies strong. I feel a strong suspicion towards a union with Balva. For one, I find their people insufferable. They suffer from a collective complex of inferiority and I have always found that it made them boastful and fragile. Secondly, I worry that the union of our cities will damage the delicate balance that our cities hold. I would hate to see Castoro softened by the camaraderie. But my father believes that the joining of our resources might make for impenetrability against our enemies so I must out my apprehensions aside.

The princes will be staying in the castle for three months. I will join them everyday for activities and conversation. In the meantime, my father will be holding thorough negotiations with their accompanying advisors. My father and I will meet weekly to discuss our thoughts. At the end, I must make my choice. My father has always held my opinion in high regard, which I am deeply thankful for. The opportunity to choose is one not granted to many daughters. But I am his only child and he would like to see me settled.

I will be accompanied to every meeting by my royal guard. Luka, I call him. He will listen and he will watch, as he always does. He is merely a knight but I enjoy his companionship. I am glad to have a faithful ally in this time.

Tomorrow morning I will meet the suitors. I have been restless for days in anticipation. I worry for my city, which will be forever changed by my choice. It is my duty to avoid sentimentality. I will choose well for my people.