I am not joking, I might just leave soon

Alone

I don't want to be alone

But this road I've paved feels so cold

My family would feel so betrayed 

I'm just so tired

The past screams in my face

I can't wait for the future

Just not this one

I have a million escapes

A thousand easy ways out

Unfinished plans for just in case

I'm overtaken by doubt

And hope is erased

Sometimes it's all I think about

While I seem unfazed

I'm thinking of leaving this place

I've seen fistfuls of bruises

The anger burns through the pain

Stop and cover the contusions 

Explain that no one's to blame

Wile I'm hiding my face

I'm told to look away

If you still do it

Why are you so ashamed?