teenage gaze | h.s.

one

"i never-"

"noticed, yeah." he finished for aurora with a shrug of his shoulders and glanced up at her. "you're aurora, yeah?" she nodded. "i'm harry," and then it clicked for aurora. he once was called on by their professor during class to share a piece of his writing. it was a poem. aurora had been so wrapped up in his words she hadn't actually noticed it's author. but aurora didn't want to embarrass him and so the silence returned. aurora wanted to say something, but he was so interested in looking at the stained tiles and his dirty sneakers that aurora - for what seemed like the first time in her life - was at a loss for words. to fight the silence that screamed in her ears she pulled out her flask of alcohol and knocked it back. she winced as it set fire to her throat and lungs. her insides were burning up, but harry's gaze felt like an inferno in comparison.

the buzzer went off as harry's clothes spun to a stop in the washing machine. standing up slowly harry pulled his wet clothes from the washer and placed them in the dryer. he used aurora's quarter to start the dryer and harry buried himself deeper into his sweatshirt's hood. aurora could feel a breath stuck in her throat and no matter how deeply she exhaled it remained stuck. the blonde girl knew the breath would remain stuck till she counted harry's every eyelash and twisted his curls around her fingers. apparently a drunk aurora was an easily infatuated aurora. mentally scoffing at herself she focused on his clothes banging against the dryer in a swirl. aurora wondered why he was washing a few shirts in the middle of the night.

"why're you washing your clothes so late?" she asked, her voice was rougher than intended and she cleared her throat.

"haven't got anything better to do." aurora glanced over at him and she realized his eyes were trained on her. she felt as though she was under microscopic inspection, like her thoughts were written smoothly across her forehead in sharpie and he knew her thoughts before she could decipher them herself. and to her, harry was a stranger still.

"would you like to write with me, harry?" aurora asked because she wanted to see what his eyes looked like under the moonlight and fog. harry looked caught off guard. "i don't plan on staying here all night," she looked around wrinkled her nose, the shop smelling like detergent and grime. harry nodded slowly. then a smile graced his lips and oh god, oh god, what did aurora do to deserve this. her fingers longed to press against the dimples she had not known to exist until now and maybe it was the vodka or the fact that she was aimlessly wandering the city in the middle of the night, but he was the prettiest boy she'd ever seen. asphalt snaked down her throat and into her lungs, but she was sure if he kissed her now sunshine would spew from her lips.

"where are we going?" he asked cocking his head causing his curls to fall across his forehead. the boyish look on his face made aurora grin and she placed a finger on her chin. she thought about it and chewed on the inside of her cheek.

"you choose."

"me?" harry asked and aurora nodded. harry returned his gaze to his drying clothes. "there's actually only one shirt in there," he spoke. "it's my favorite shirt. my roommate spilled their drink on it and i got mad and then he said i was being ridiculous which was true, but i was mad so i claimed my shirt would stain. then, he said if i was so worried about my shirt being stained i would go down to the laundromat right away. and so, to prove him wrong, here i am. long story short," harry looked aurora in the eyes, the dim light created a shadow across his face and harry's eyes looked so alive for someone aurora knew so little about. "im really glad he potentially stained my favorite shirt, because i never would've ended up here." he shared his dimpled smile at her and aurora felt like he'd just told her his biggest secret. "also, i had twenty five cents on me. i just really wanted to talk you."

"dick. weaseling money out of an innocent, unsuspecting, half drunk girl." she teased. harry threw his head back and laughed. oh god, ran through aurora's mind for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. aurora could feel her heart swelling as harry grew more comfortable around her. she wondered if harry's heart was swelling too. "so where are we going?" and harry sent her another shy smile retreating back into his hoodie and she just wanted to pull him closer by the curls.

"you'll see,"

"okay then let's go,"

"but my shirt-" he protested.

"it'll have to air dry, bud." aurora stood and placed her hand out towards harry. he rested his hand in hers, his eyebrows furrowed. aurora pulled him up and pressed the "stop" button and harry's shirt halted and fell to the bottom. hitching her bag higher on her shoulder she headed to the exit, turning her head back to see if harry was following. hurriedly he was shoving his still damp shirt into his navy bag and took a few long strides to reach the doors before aurora had even turned all the way back around. harry swung the door open letting the arctic air blast them in the face. the pair both grimaced and through gritted teeth harry spoke.

"after you," aurora braced herself against the wind and shielded her face in the crook of her neck. the door swung shut and harry stepped out from behind her and took the lead. leaning down by her ear he spoke out against the blowing snow, "we're going to the bus station," aurora grunted in reply thankful the stop was less than a block away. slowly but surely the two college students made their way through the falling snow at 1:58 in the morning.

1:58 in the morning a slightly drunk aurora followed a very beautiful harry, and as she rested her forehead against the freezing window pane of the empty bus she wished his hand would warm hers. but the time passed and it was heading into 2:00 in the morning, though everytime she shifted her eyes to his, he continued to be beautiful. only ocassional headlights passed while aurora's breath fogged up the window and harry's head rested against the back of his seat. they were two strangers and aurora should not being feeling these things, but she swore harry wore a crown woven of silk and daises and she prayed he couldn't see beneath her roses was thorns digging into her skull.

2:34 they sat on top of harry's roof and thankfully the harsh wind had died down leaving traces of gentle falling snowflakes. the apartment complex was only four stories, but aurora could taste the stars. she watched harry to see if he was drinking the moonlight. their butts were numb from sitting on the cold concrete roof, but neither complained. though, somehow, aurora found herself curled into him, buried in the crook of his neck. when she first scooted close to him she could his breath hitch and since then his breathing was uneven. she asked harry if he was okay and he only smiled. the two mostly sat in silence and aurora despised it. she just wanted to hear his voice, but nonetheless, they didn't speak. until finally, aurora broke the deafening silence.

"harry have you always lived here?" she asked. harry had mentioned earlier as they climbed the fire escape he lived on the fourth floor.

"yeah, i only live with my mom so..." he let his words drift off without looking at aurora. instead he trained his eyes on the horizon as if he were searching for the sun. the sun was hours away and aurora figured he was hers until then. aurora wanted to ask the curly haired boy more, but the hard set to his jaw stopped her and reminded her once more that the pair were only strangers. so, instead of talking, she would ask him to write. aurora shifted her weight and pulled her backpack that had been resting against her shins into her lap.

"harry," she spoke slowly, a snowflake landing on the tip of her nose. aurora sniffed. "i want you to write for me." aurora pulled a worn and messy journal from her bag and after a few minutes of reaching in her bag she found a pen. the cover was soft, black leather and inside contained scribbles and scribbles of mindless words and doodles. the notebook contained essays from her classes and paragraphs of her most private thoughts. obviously harry could tell because he shook his head vigorously.

"i can't," he spoke with chattering teeth. despite his protests aurora shoved the contents in his hands.

"please?" looking at aurora dejectedly harry nodded. she grinned at him like a child.

"alright, alright." he agreed. "but," harry said while holding up the journal. "you have to swear you won't read what i write until i say you can."

"harry," aurora whined.

"swear to me." aurora sighed.

"i swear."

okay this chapter is way overdue and im mad sorry it's taken me so long. and i rlly hope they're aren't errors, if there are im super sorry. i hope this isn't too bad pls enjoy :~)
x sydney