Call of Duty (all) Black Ops one shots

I didn't mean it. | Beck x Reader

I promised Ingo I wouldn't do anything to myself.

The door slammed behind me as I dragged the rope next to my feet in my left hand. The wooden floor creaked every time I made a new step.

I promised Ingo I wouldn't do anything to myself.

An empty, dry promise. The door to the room swung open as I pushed it. My emotions had now taken control, and I was unable to control that. I stood on the chair, swinging the rope around the fan. There was too much for me in this world that I didn't deserve. My body weight pulled on the rope, making sure it could hold me. Sure enough, it held up.

I promised Ingo I wouldn't do anything.

My body stood heavy and grounded on the floor after slowly sliding off of the chair.

A full panic attack proceeded to kick in as I ran to the kitchen to grab a paper and a pen. My arm wiped my face as my breathing became unsteady. I locked the door behind me as I sat on the floor to write the note.

Ingo,..
I know I promised. I'm sorry. I just don't deserve you. I'm not good enough for this world. Maybe thats why our baby was taken from us. And it's all my fault. I won't make you suffer anymore. If I'm gone, you'll live a better life with a girl that makes you happy. I don't believe that I do that for you. Remember me, always. Tell my family I love them and take care of them for me.
I love you, I always will. Even in the sky, I'll be your guardian angel and look out for you.
I'm so sorry, my love.
            - (Y/N)

I left the note on the floor next to the chair, standing up to step back up on the chair. My hands lead the rope into a noose. I cried, pulling the finished product around my neck and tightening it.

I promised Ingo..

I promised...

I..

I don't care anymore.

My breath hitched as I kicked back the chair with my foot, stepping off at the same time.
I immediately regretted my decision. I panicked and made a horrible choice. I didn't want to die. I don't want to die. I couldn't breathe. I can't breathe.
My hands reached for the noose around my neck as my legs kicked back and forth in an attempt to reach the chair. The attempt to get out made it more difficult. My breathing became lighter and slower as my struggle began to slow and become more difficult. It started to become extremely difficult to struggle and even move. My head began to throb again, as my vision became blurry and black. My arms dropped down to my sides as I stopped kicking.

This is it, I guess. I have nobody to help me.
Tears continued to roll down my cheeks as I choked out one last breath.

◇◇◇◇ Beck's POV. ◇◇◇◇
(Y/N) had already been having a bad day--. No, a bad week. A horrible one, and I made it worse. I don't know what came over me. My struggles should not make me act out on the person that I love the most. I sighed, opening the front door. My actions were horrible, and I felt bad. So, I bought (Y/N) her favorite candy and drink. The bags dropped to the table as I closed and locked the door behind me.
"(Y/N)? I'm home.." I called out.
No response. Was she still mad at me? Rightfully so.
I walked to our bedroom door and knocked on it lightly.
"(Y/N)? Sweetheart, I'm sorry. That was so unlike me, it was wrong. Can you come out so we can talk about it?"
I pleaded with her.
She still didn't respond.
"Okay, I'm coming in." I grabbed a key from my pocket, unlocking the door.
"Listen-, I'm sorry for the things I did earlier-" I looked down, closing the door behind me.
"I shouldn't have taken my anger out on yo-..." My voice trailed off as I looked up.

My keys fell from my hand, as I stood in utter shock at the sight before me.
"No.." I panicked.
"No. No, no! No!" I tripped over myself, running to where she was.
"Fuck!" Frustration filled my voice as I struggled to lift her up.
"Fuck, fuck.. fuck.." I muttered as I frantically looked around.
She looked dark purple and hung lifelessly.
"Please.." I begged.
Blood dripped from her mouth as her chest fell slowly once in a while.
She had been struggling to breathe.
I grabbed the chair and quickly hopped on it, grabbing a pocket knife from my pockey and slashing the rope in half after a few cuts.
"(Y/N), please." I tapped her face.
The rope slipped off of her neck revealing a mark that was leftover. A bruise, that almost went through her neck. Her hands were bloody and she was still purple. I caught her in my arms and placed her on the floor carefully.

I rushed to the nearest phone, dialing 911.
Within minutes there was an ambulance on the way. After speaking to the 911 operator, she had me stay on the line and perform CPR.
I begged and pleaded with her to wake up.
Performing CPR helped keep her heart beat going and her breathing steady. She had an irregular heart beat and would stop breathing at times.
She had been rushed out of our house on a stretcher and taken into the back of an ambulance.
Before I knew it, we were being rushed to the hospital as I read her suicide note in the back of the ambulance. I cried, knowing I had done this to her. She didn't deserve this.
Most of the trip from the sight I saw to the hospital was very foggy and blurry. I was so panic filled that I couldn't remember half of it. I only remember the feeling of relief when they resuscitated her. When I saw her heart beat and breathing become stable.

Over the next few days, she had been hooked up to multiple machines.
I sat next to her bed, waiting for her to awake.  When I saw her eyes open, the relief washed over me.
"Ingo..?" She muttered out quietly.
I rushed up out of my slumped state in my chair and ran to her bed.
"Oh.. Oh, finally.." I hugged her gently as I closed my eyes.
"Please." I begged.
"Never do that again.." My voice trailed off as I choked on my words, holding back my tears.
She hugged me back weakly.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why I did it." She was quiet.
"It's okay. Just don't do it again. I'm here for you. I always will be. Never be afraid to confide in me. From now on, please tell me what's wrong and talk to me so we can avoid this." I pulled away from her, opening my eyes. My lips planted a kiss on her forehead as I rubbed her cheekbone with my thumb, cupping her cheek in my palm.

The look on her face explained everything.
How she felt in that moment.
Why she did it.
How she was feeling currently.

"It's okay. Everything is going to be okay." I reassured her with another quick hug before pulling away to hold her hand.

She smiled weakly at me, nodding slightly.
"I believe you." She whispered.
"Good. I love you, my darling." Her hand lifted to mine as I planted a kiss on her soft knuckles.
"I love you too." Her smile was bright, even when she was weak.

"Now.. Can I get some rest?" She pleaded.

"Of course. I'll be right here, love. Whatever you need, whenever you need it.. Just.. don't touch your neck, you'll bother it and it'll hurt." I asked.
She nodded at me.
Even through all of the wires, tubes and machines, she was still the same girl to me at the end of the day.
She would need some time to recover, but that was okay.
All she needs right now is love and support, and all I can do is give her all that I have to offer.
She is my one, my only.
Her and I can get through this together.

-- A/N
hey guys , I'm really sorry for disappearing again. I hate doing this to y'all, but some times life is just too much. I know not everyone loves Beck and this is not what you were hoping for / expecting. I love you all and I am so glad every single one of you enjoy's my work. some times, I feel like my stories are a reflection of my emotions and how I'm feeling. other times I get inspiration from a song, or a certain song genre depending on the mood I'm in and what I'm feeling that day.
anyways.. on that note, yes. I'm okay. some times I'm not but that goes for all of us ♡. I hope you're all doing well and enjoying this beautiful spring season !
well , it's late so I'm gonna head off and I'll finish my other chapters some time this week
in the mean time...
stay frosty !
love y'all !! ♡♡
(more than likely, this "one-shot" will have a part 2)