Love Isn't Complicated

Chapter 1

"Doc, I wanted to let you know, I'm going to be moving out as soon as I get back to Salem," John said sadly. When he, Marlena, and Roman went to Mexico, he did it knowing that he was Roman Brady. To him, the trip to Mexico was just a formality to back up what he already knew in his heart. But, he was wrong, and everything was going to change. He was losing it all, and saying it aloud suddenly made it more real. A stabbing pain shot through his chest as he realized the woman in front of him was no longer his wife. He watched as her eyes darted down, and then back to him. He would have to force himself to walk away from her, and his children.  Gently, ask her, "Is he a good father?"

"Yes," she said, watching the pain play over his face.

"Someone the kids are going to be able to trust?" he asked, with an emotional break in his voice.

She whispered, "Yes."

John had tears rolling down his face as he tried to smile at her. Marlena had only been back a few short months. The twins barely had time to get to know her, and now they would be gaining Roman as a father. Another stranger in their lives. "Sami's still scared of lightning storms...myou know that?"

Marlena simply nodded her head, wishing she could do so much more in that moment. She wanted to reach for him, and hold him. She wanted to reassure him that everything would work out, but the pain in her own chest was so tight. Besides, how could she promise him it would all work out, when she didn't even have that faith? Her own heart ached. She wanted to be back in San Cristobal wrapped in his arms again, but instead they found themselves standing there in her hut, saying goodbye when it was the last thing they wanted.

"You think maybe it would be alright if I was there when you told them?" he asked her.

"I think you should be there. I think you should be the person that does tell them," she replied,  barely able to speak.

"You okay?" he whispered, even though he knew she wasn't.

"I'm taking this one step at a time," was all she could say, because the truth hurts too much.

"You know what I think about when I start to worry about you?" John gave her a small, shaky smile. "I think about you running up that hill after you found the picture, and you thought I was him. I remember that look on your face. I never saw you so happy... like you were running into the arms of the best thing that had ever happened to you. Do you remember that?"

Marlena's weeping continued as she nodded her head, staring at him in an attempt to memorize every line on his face, and every expression in his eyes. She remembered that day. She'd been so happy to learn that he was Roman, but it was more than that. Knowing that he wasn't Stefano., changed everything She loved him with her heart and soul because of who he was... not because of who he was.

John noticed her studying him. He also realized that she was barely holding herself together, so he decided to be the strong one, and make everything okay for her. He said, "That's what tells me he's one of the good guys."

Marlena's voice broke, as she told him, "Do you know that some women live their entire lives, and never find anybody wonderful... and I found two. You are two of the very best."

"Well, I wish I knew that," he replied, turning away. Being so close to her, all alone, it hurt... it hurt a lot.

"Are you angry?" she asked him.

John turned to face her, "Oh, I don't know, I guess you could say that. I want to say that Roman finding his way out of that hellhole was wonderful. That him finding his way back to you, Eric, and Sami is wonderful." He couldn't seem to stop crying, so he turned away again, trying to hide his pain, even though it was evident in every muscle of his body. "Everything is wonderful if you can forget one thing... oh, G-d, Doc, this is crazy! I don't have any memories of my own, and the ones I do have I'm supposed to forget."