KARNA : THE WARRIOR

CHAPTER 32

Yudhishthir broke down once again in loving embrace of his Pitamah. Truth is he was highly unstable right now. What he heard in his mother, sorry royal queen's room made him think such, he began to doubt everything and everyone but seeing his crying Pitamah proclaiming his love for him as individuals restore some faith and meaning to his life. He ever saw his Pitamah rock solid, its first time he saw tired, insecure and lonely Pitamah. For the first time he saw him crying. Both man in embrace of each other wailed and sobbed to let whatever happened today out of their system through tears.

After a while both again parted, they were calm but tear marks and tiredness clearly visible in their eyes.

Bheeshma : Tell me Putra, what brought this upon you.

Yudhishthir nodded and began speaking what he heard queen Kunti and her maid priyamada talked about in the room, again tear flow through his eyes.

Yudhishthir : How could she Pitamah, just how? She abondoned the blessings of Suryanarayana, her first born in river Ganga. Then again when he came in front of him she didn't acknowledge him, her selfishness deprived us of elder brother especially from me. If she ever told Pitashree i am sure he would have accepted Bhrata Karna and recognised him as his son, that I know about Pitashree but she never did. After Pitashree, I decided to step up to fill in his shoes for my family but only me and god knows I wished there was someone for me like I am for my anujs. Don't get me wrong Pitamah, I am not questioning your love or any ones love for me or my brothers but I craved for father figure but that woman snatched it from me and us because of selfishness. Now because of everything me and my brothers hates our Jyeshtha. He came in front of us but we insulted and humiliated him. Suryaputra was called Sutputra by everyone even my brothers and I stood there silently. Why because our ego wasn't willing to accept his qualities and abilities, because he was better.

What have we not said about him, how we always adress as petty Suta. In our arrogance we never saw how one with such qualities and abilities could be suta when question should be asked whether he was even ordinary mortal. He is not just suryaputra but half part of Suryadev himself. Why we couldn't see what divine kavach and Kundal were adorned in him. Even how we treated him he was never one to instigate fight it was us who always spoke harshly to him. What should or could I do now Pitamah, how will I ever look at him after what I did. Will he ever accept us/ me as brother after what Maharani Kunti has done to him or how we behaved with him.

Me and my brothers are nothing but puppets she brought up for her ambition, we are nothing but pawn for her. Our entire existence is for her demand of fame and luxury but even then we couldn't say no to her, why because she gave bith to us, kept and nourished nine months in her womb, took care of our needs growing up, fed us, brought us up even if she had her selfishness. A child can be bad by bad mothers exist, we kaunteya is living example of this. Jyeshtha Mata fought everyone for her children and one who gave birth to us abondoned her first, hoped he died and raised rest of us as puppets.

Were we even needed to take birth Pitamah. What are I and my brother. Fortunate that we are Devputra or unfortunate that we took birth from such woman. What are our identity, whats need for our existence. One couldn't live if entire society questioning his existence but how one could live if he himself questions his entire existence.

Please guide me Pitamah, what should I do now.

Bheeshma couldn't believe what he heard from Yudhishthir, Kunti one who got every respect from everyone is such woman. His face was showing disbelief, anger and even hatred after he heard everything Yudhishthir said. He respect Ghandhari the mist but ut would be wrong to say he wasn't partial towards Kunti because she was wife of late Pandu. He couldn't believe she could do these things and has such thinking when everyone saw her epitome of mother in Hastinapur.

His thoughts then diverted to Suryaputra who he was doubtful about but his mother never gave any answer about him, he always thought it was because of his Guru bhagwan parshuram but now he knows that wasn't the reason and other things are there which he is unaware of. He had mixed emotions towards Karna from beforehand, Karna was one he couldn't figure out. He always doubted he was Suta and qualities of Kshatriye was dripping from him ever since he laid eyes on him. He now knows why but he also know this us one part of puzzle and mystery that is Karna. Why couldn't Suryadev like other celestial father of Pandavas didn't just gave mortal sun but divided himself in two parts, there must be some reason behind it. listening to words and questions of Yudhishthir he decided to support him first and then think about anything else. Bheeshma saw his broken grandson and placed one his hands on his shoulder and squeezed gently to gain his attention.

Bheeshma : Putra, Yudhishthir. I can't say I can understand what and how are you feeling. It would be blatant lie. As it much it pains you learning everything it is also blessings that you are now aware of everything. You have opportunity to correct everything even now.

Yudhishthir : But how Pitamah? Even after everything just how?

Bheeshma : Putra, you have to take stey to fix everything. Where do you want to start from tell me then I will give you suggestion.

Yudhishthir : From Jyeshtha.

Bheeshma : Putra, i know you can't lie but you just couldn't barge up to him and tell him everything now.

Bheeshma : Why Pitamah?

Bheeshma : Putra, you need to gain his trust first. You can take route of Duryodhana start friendship from him but for that you have to first mend relationship with Duryodhana and others.

Yudhishthir : This is one thing I always wanted to do Pitamah but couldn't because somewhere in my heart I too think Duryodhana was responsible for Bheem's poisoning so though I never said but I loathed him too. But now I know he was not behind anything, if I could gather courage and forgot my anger then, I would have confronted Duryodhana may be then we wouldn't be in this situation now. Us and them would have been together. There would have no need of partion. Duryodhana for his loved one could sacrifice anything if we too would have been that to him then there would have been no conflicts between both set of brothers. I blame myself for that too.

Bheeshma : You were not reason Putra, me, Vidhur are equally responsible. We share blood with him but not bond of family otherwise we would have not misunderstood him.

Yudhishthir : Jyeshtha shares that with him. Its irony that we kaunteya could never do that even we spent decades with him but Jyeshtha did in few years or less.

Bheeshma : Yes he does. He was one of few that never judged him or veiw him with biased glasses. On my first meeting with karna he told me Kauravas are Mahadev boon like you are boon from your celestial father. If all of us thought so beforehand situation would be completely different. Evil didn't birth but are made, I am glad Duryodhana didn't become that though we consider and treated him as such from birth. I guess love he got from few, protected him from that unfortunately that few don't have us among it but we will try to be one.

Yudhishthir : Yes, we will Pitamah. We will try until we become one that i promise you. But Pitamah even we mend relationship with Duryodhana would Jyeshtha ever accept us or our friendship.

Bheeshma : Putra, you don't understand Karna. He is not one to hold grudges. If he couldn't hold grudges against me or Dronacharya and be best friend with Ashwatthama he won't say no to you all if you all genuinely put forward your friendship. Be his friends first and when right time come first tell Duryodhana about your relationship so that he could help, he would surely after getting to know Karna is his jyeshtha he considers him as such so i am sure he would be on 9 th cloud if he got to know.

"Yes I am on cloud nine" came a voice behind the pillars.