Peneloise

Chapter 1

10th May, 1814 

Men value modesty and grace in women. Their appearances, curves caused men to be besotted. Men long for these sort of things. It's always the 'soft low-tongue' and 'courtesy' that matters. I have none of these qualities. 

I'm always left alone. The unobtrusive girl people never bother to care for. Everyone including Lady Featherington thinks I'm a burden. 

"Stop indulging yourself in the ludicrous habit of reading." She'd say. She was never my mother and never will be. She never gave me any attention. Phillipa's her golden child. That pretty peat, with that unbearable voice of a crow. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. Her singing flouts me. 

When she looks at me, her irate behavior appears from nowhere. 

Nobody respects my authority. Here in the Featherington house, I'm nothing. 

I'm basically nothing in this world full of snobbishness. 

However, I have a meaning in life when I'm with you. 

You were the only one that made me feel included. Men adored your beauty. But you didn't let them dominate over you. Your admirable personality. Your bravery. Your alacrity to discover the truth about Lady Whistledown. Cute and naive of you! Don't you realize she's always by your side? You little fool. 

Your mother Violet might often compare you to Daphne. 'Oh how glorious she is right now, with Simon, the handsome duke by her side and a beautiful child. You're gonna be like her this season.' 

But you are incomparable. People might not like your raucous voice and how bold you are but they just don't understand the beauty in you. To me, you have an angelic voice and every time I hear you call my name, my heart burns. I know I want you. I know I need you. You are the one I live for in life. 

'Penelope.' You would say. 'Can we talk?' 

I still reminisced about that night at the ball. You looked absolutely stunning, the silk dress fit you perfectly. At some point, I was happy for you but at the same time I was intimidated. Will these horrendous men take you away from me. You deserve my love. My intimate love. 

I stood by myself quivering in fear. Will men be induced by your features as I am? 

But they didn't stand a chance. You rushed out of the crowd and came to me. 

"Let's go Penelope." You held my hand gently. I was about to spend the night quietly with you when suddenly that pretty bitch appeared.  "Now that you might be the season's diamond, why don't you go find some other real friend of yours." 

Cressida Cowper jeered at you. You didn't care. You looked her straight in the eye and responded 'I would rather die.' Did you see her disgruntled face? Seriously couldn't hold back the laughter. 

After that you pulled me in the garden full of hydrangeas and we laid on the soft meadow in the dark together. It was pure darkness but the only thing that glinted was your sapphire eyes. You told me that you wanted Lady Whistledown to talk more about women instead of gossiping. You said you hated being in the public eye, but I could never relate to that. I've never had a second of glory in my life. But it doesn't matter. All I wanted was to have you in my life. 

For the very first time, you took me by my chubby little hand and held it tight, clenching it with your warm fingers. At that moment, my heart beat escalated and I wanted to lean forward and kiss you on the lips. No matter what I was destined to be with you. Not sure if you also felt the same way though. 

But there's certainly one thing I would like you to know. 

I burn for you, Eloise.