The Very Hungry Child Abuser

Chapter 1

Once upon a time, there was a very hungry caterpillar. So hungry, in fact, he ate most of the leaves off of the plant his family lived in. His father responded by pulling his teeth out with a pair of pliers so he couldn't eat any more. This only made his hunger grow more. When his teeth grew back, he ate the stem of his family's home plant. When his father saw this, he smashed the front of the very hungry caterpillar's face in with a hammer, so he lost the desire to feed. But, in the morning, when his father awoke from his slumber, he saw the entire plant had been devoured. So, in his insatiable rage, he tied his son down and stitched his mouth shut, making sure he could never eat again. The very hungry caterpillar screamed and yelled as hard as he could through the stitches. 3 days later, someone nearby called caterpillar CPS, and they found the very hungry caterpillar dead, from a combination of malnutrition and blunt force trauma to the head. Later, his father was shot to death outside the caterpillar courthouse. The end.