The Walsh Family Q&A's

Claire

5 words that sum you up

Tall. Optimistic, Fond of a drink. Suffering from Age-dysmorphia  (I still think I’m 21 though I’m… somewhat older.) Recession-denier.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Every party I have, if at least 3 people aren’t hospitalised with alcohol poisoning, I feel I have failed.

 Where do you live?

In a perpetually filthy semi-d in Shankill, County Dublin, that we bought at the top of the market and now isn’t worth tuppence.

Who is your style icon?

Madonna. Or Kate Moss. Don’t make me choose.

Who is your dream man?

If I had a one-night pass, I’d do the Clooney. I mean, who wouldn’t?

What’s your favourite colour?

Pink and black zebra print

What’s your favourite song?

Club Tropicana by Wham! Like, duh!

What’s your favourite movie?

Bridget Jones’ Diary

What’s your idea of hell?

Going on holiday to Saudi Arabia.

What’s your favourite magazine?

Grazia. Of course.

If you were a food, what would you be?

I’m told I’d be a curry. Draw your own conclusions.

How often do you have sex?

Sex?! With 3 kids, a dog, a job, a book club, a devotion to Shellac and my tireless efforts trying to fend off the peri-menopause, when would I get time for sex? Oh, alright… whenever he pours a bottle of vino into me and we’ve locked the kids in the basement.

What is your motto?

The best way to get over one man is to get under another.

What car do you drive?

I can’t tell you because it’s not me, it’s only because I have 3 kids and I spend my life ferrying carloads of them from ballet lessons to the dentist, to rugby. You’d only judge me on it and you’d get me all wrong.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?

I wouldn’t like to say sorry to anyone. Who likes saying sorry? 

When did you last cry, and why?

Big girls don’t cry

What keeps you awake at night?

The smell of my fake tan.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Being in St Lucia, lying by the pool, drinking a mohito and reading Fifty Shades of Grey

Cat or dog?

Dog. But only because my kids make me.

What job would you love to have?

I’m definitely a feminist but I often wonder what it would be like to be one of those high-end prostitutes in Monte Carlo, you know, the ones who‘re bankrolled by some loaded Russian man? Who lives in a gag-makingly expensive apartment on the Croisette and who has nothing to do all day long but get eyelash extension and crème de la Mer pedicures and who has to occasionally put on a red slinky dress when your man comes to town. Like, doesn’t it sound very cushy?