WILDEST FANTASIES

THIRTEEN

But for now, he'll have to compromise until he gains control back over his life.

It wasn't easy on Harry. The way he had to end things with you. It was never how he planned and he has been doubting himself ever since. The look on your face, the way you screamed at him and told him that once he was out the door he was dead to you...

It broke him. More than he ever imagined it could.

But he didn't have a choice and he couldn't let you give your future up for him, he would have never been able to live with himself knowing he was the reason you couldn't finish your degree or had to push it longer than you originally planned and Nina made it clear that she would do anything in her power to set you back.

Harry thought about not doing what she asked and played with the thought that what if she can't hurt you the way she wanted to, but he had to come to the realization that she had every power to go through with her plan. She was great friends with the biggest names not just in the department but in the school as a whole and he knew she had connections at different universities too, she could have easily kept her word.

So Harry had to do what she asked and make sure you were safe. But it was hard not telling you the truth. He knew you'd put up a fight and try to fight back, making sacrifices, so he decided to keep you in the dark, but it was almost even more painful this way.

His heart shattered when you questioned whether he loved you or if it was just all a lie. He couldn't get himself to even answer, but his silence was enough of an answer for you. It hurt him to think about what he did to you, made you believe you were unlovable when in reality, he was doing all of it because he loved you more than anything and wanted the best for you.

Even though many would disagree that he did the right thing.

Niall couldn't believe him when he filled him in on what happened, even though part of him knew Harry would do something stupid like this.

"You fucked up, Harry. I'm not gonna lie. You should have told her the truth," he said on the phone when Harry called him a few days after the breakup. "I knew you'd fuck it up, man."

"This does not help, thank you very much," Harry growled under his nose.

Moving on wasn't easy and Harry feels like he still hasn't left you entirely in the past, but at least he has learned to live with the ghost of you that will always linger in the back of his mind and heart. There was a time he believed he would never recover, that he dig himself so deep that he would never be able to make it out.

But somehow he did, even though there are still nights when he dreams of you and wakes up with his chest tight and heaving, tears flooding his eyes as he stares up at the ceiling, still seeing your face so vividly.

He watched you graduate and get the degree Nina threatened to put into risk. You didn't see him, but he was there, in the very back, clapping with teary eyes when they called your name and you shook hands with the dean. You looked as gorgeous as ever, your hair pinned up, a black dress hugging your body and that proud smile when you finally held your degree in your hands... He needed everything in him to walk away without trying to talk to you.

That was the last time he saw you.

By the time Niall gets back home most of Harry's stuff is moved out of the living room and at least settled in Harry's bedroom, part of it packed away. He has some light 80s music flowing from his laptop that's set up on the desk in the corner of his room as he is trying to decide which books to put on the shelves. He won't be able to fit all of them, he is planning to actually sell some, mostly things he only used while he was teaching, and the rest will be taken into his office.