If I Had A Heart

Eight

Being without you is agony. I know it is necessary, and I have to keep you at arm's length, but know that if I had a heart, if ever I possessed one, then surely you have it. I promised myself so many times that I would write, but lacked the confidence to do so.  I know that in a short while, however long it takes for Draco Malfoy to complete his task, Albus Dumbledore will be killed. I would have you by my side then, officially. Did you like the chocolates I sent? I'm not good at this whole hearts and flowers nonsense, I'm better at our bedroom antics. But this will suffice for now.

I hope that you think of me as often I think of you. How I long to bury myself in you, to feel your lips on mine, the taste of you on my lips as I lick the last bit of cream from your thighs. I find such thoughts consume me at times, and at other times I think that I have gone mad. I should hate all that you stand for, and an abomination. But never you, my mate. I cannot bring myself to hate you, only cherish what we have together.

Until I am able to be with you once more, I intend to ravish you with my words. I have enclosed a small poetry book to express my ardent desires for you. Do read them alone, I highly doubt anyone besides us can understand even why what we have works.

Sincerely,

Tom

I saw another owl drop a small red poetry book and fly off. Ginny sat down and snatched the coded letter out of my hands, and she frowned, "Okay, fess up. Who is your secret admirer? He has great handwriting whoever the wizard is."

I played it off by laughing. "Just some guy I met over holiday. We hit it off really well, and now we're just penpaling since he's a Durmstrang student."

"Did you...you know?"
"Yeah."
"Ooo! What's it like?"

Ron looked like he was about to pass out. "Eww! Mione,' that's gross. How can you say you had a hookup on Easter? That's--"

"A little hard to believe," Harry finished. "You don't seem like the type."

I rolled my eyes at that. I gathered my stuff, and shrunk it down magically to fit into my school bag. I didn't have time to read all of my mail, but I would in time.

"I'm going to History of Magic now," I announced. "I'll see you guys around later."

Ginny was about to walk with me, but Pansy Parkinson and her clique showed up. "Hey, girls," I said happily.

Pansy sneered at Ginny, and said, "You're partnering with me, right? I can't stand Nott just ogling my damn tits all lesson long."

It was well known that Theo and Draco had this weird love triangle dynamic going on with Pansy ever since I had been forced to break up with Draco when I was forced to get married.

"Sure. Ginny, I'll see you later," I said to Ginny as Pansy and her girls led me away to class. I didn't like blowing off Ginny, but I had my own life outside of Hogwarts, and Slytherin House was a part of that life.

Harry paired with Ron, and Harry kept staring at my rings as if they were going to jump up and bite him at any second. I ignored him, though, and focused on the task at hand. I had to get Harry alone somehow to get my mission done. Poisoning him would be too obvious, but maybe a non verbal curse...yes, that could work. But I had to time it just right, because there was no room for error in any of this.

I ruminated over all of this as I studied for my NEWT tests. I had to take them early, because of what Tom had planned with Dumbledore. But a part of me didn't want to go along with all of this, because I cared about Harry as a brother...somewhat.

A brother who merely uses you to get ahead in his classes? A mindless jock in all other aspects of his school life? Who are you kidding? You made your choice long before the King of Slytherin made you his Queen, so get with the program, I chastised myself sharply. Yes, yes I did willingly make that choice. I did love my husband, and even if he could only be himself with me privately, I knew that he loved me in his own way.

I took a shower, got ready for bed, and took out the little red poetry book. The entire thin book was penned by hand in his own elegant script handwriting. The first poem was about how he dreamed of climbing the tower and sneaking in to make shameless love to me. I thought it was a given that he would have cast some kind of a silence charm to not alert the other sleeping girls as to what we were doing, but the imagery was very erotic and hot.

I cast a silence charm, and read over the dream again. I slipped my hand into my pajama bottoms, and pushed back my knickers until I found my already wet pussy. Wow. I began to massage the folds in small concentric circles, and inserting two fingers inside of me.

"Ohhh...oh gods," I breathed. "Yess..Oh, Tom..."

I teased my clit, remembering his hand torturing my slit, and then his mouth sucking and flicking my clit with his tongue. I began to tremble and shake as I thrust my fingers in and out of me at a faster rate. I moaned as I reached my climax, and then went to the restroom to rinse and clean myself up. I felt very unfulfilled, because I wanted the real thing. No, Hell with it, I wanted...him. Badly.

I fought the urge to write to Tom then and there, but then thought of legilimency. If we were in tune with each other the way I thought, we could be a part of each other in a much more intimate way: through our minds.

I removed all traces of emotion as I laid back down in bed, climbing under the covers as I did so. I, at first wasn't able to bridge my mind to his, but when we did, it was pure magic as we met in our dreaming state, and reconnected in this way. The alarm clock going off by my bed was the only thing that awoke me from my slumber the next day for classes, but I didn't mind, because we were together, and that made the waiting a little bit easier for the both of us...