A (very bad) S&D Tier Fanfiction

Sir Love

     I was lounging on the couch, flipping through a catalog of all of the heroes in the city. I was bored and wanted someone to fight and/or kill. Most of the interesting heroes I'd already fought more times than I can count and anyways I'd need to be back in time to feed Salazar. The little furball was curled up on my chest. I was about to turn the page when one name caught my attention, Sir Love. I remembered having the displeasure of meeting him once. He was very obnoxious. Apparently, he could see people's "Red String of Fate" and used that to connect people with their soulmates. He wore only red and pink and acted as if he would actually be able to fight more than an F tier villain. I hated him. I decided I could definitely spare the time to revoke his breathing rights.

     When I open the door to the cafe I know Sir Love most often frequents, I see people chatting and bustling around. Sir Love was in corner with some couple and someone was reading a book at the table to my right. It was overall a very cozy environment. That was until people started to notice me. Once they did the cafe went still with fear, just how I like it. I let my presence sink in for a moment before strutting over to Sir Love, grabbing him by the collar, and teleporting away to my lair.

     "Charles!" I yell to one of my henchmen as soon as I arrive, "Prepare the cell."

     As Charles left to do just that, the "hero" I had by the shirt began to struggle. He kicked at my leg pathetically and I scof. I would be doing the world a favor by getting rid of this poor excuse of a human.

     "Why have you brought me here, foul beast?" Sir Love demanded.

     "Because you're annoying," I answered, shaking him, "Charles! What's taking so long?"

     "What are you going to do with me?"

     "Kill you most likely."

     "What inhuman creature would kill someone who only wants to spread love in this world?"

     "Me. Now shut up," The floor started opening and I could see the cage below. I tossed the hero into it and jumped down beside the cage, "Charles, close the floor," This time Charles complied immediately and the marble began to close. "Now, Mr. Romance, we have some fun."

    "I didn't know you were capable of having fun. But then again I didn't think you could feel love either," he scoffed, gesturing vaguely to my hand.

     "And this is why I want to kill you," I murmur under my breath. Then at him, "What do you mean?"

     "I mean it's just that you are such a horrible being who has slaughtered many a hero that-."

   "YOU ARE AT MY MERCY!!! I HAVE A ROOM OF HUNGARY LIONS AND A VENOMOUS SNAKE PIT WITH YOUR NAME ON IT. SO TELL ME WHAT YOU MEAN," I yelled, the cloak I was wearing lighting on fire in my rage.

     "Y- Your string of fate," He squeaked, "I'm surprised you have one."

      I looked down at my hand. I would never say this out loud but I was also surprised that I could feel love. I certainly didn't consider dating a priority in my life of crime. That didn't mean it would be an issue.

     "Okay," I say, taking a breath, "I'll cut you a deal. You show me where my string leads and I let you live."

      "I don't cut deals with the likes of you," Sir Love declared, regaining his pompous demeanor."

     "Fine. Now that we've got that out of the way, I can start killing you." I light my hand on fire.

     "WAIT! Wait. I'll show you."

     "Good."