The Shadow

Chap 2

We took to playing a weird game of red light green light, probably starting when I was seven. How the game went, I would lie in my bed and Shadow would start at the far end of the room. When I was looking at Shadow, it would freeze, and when I closed my eyes or looked away it would move. Now I always had this weird irrational fear of being caught by it so I would stare at it when it got too close for comfort and simply talk to it. Something, maybe even Shadow itself told me that something bad would happen if I were to get touched by it. As I said, it never spoke but somehow it communicated to me. Now on my eleventh birthday a fight broke out during the little bit of a birthday party I had...in front of my best friend. What's worse, they were fighting about me. Fighting about my grades, how useless I was, and whose fault it was I was like this. After twenty minutes of sitting silently in the corner and listening to the countless insults being tossed around, I led my friend out and ran to my room. I was so angry at my parents, at me, the world, life. In a fit of rage, despair, and the overwhelming feeling of helplessness, I grabbed my pencil sharpener and pried the razor blazer from the plastic. Without a single thought I drove the blade into my wrist, and slashed open my skin. At the time, I felt nothing, the cut didn't hurt at all. It actually was more of an oh shit that's my insides moment. Looking back, I didn't actually cut very deep, but the blood convinced younger me otherwise. And so, in the most dramatic fashion I threw myself on the bed and awaited death. Shadow soon appeared and I felt concern pouring from it.

"Wanna play red light green light?" I whispered. Shadow nodded and floated..?( I can't really describe how it moves, it just kinda does.) Over to the door. With a smile I closed my eyes, counted to four and flung open my eyes. Shadow was frozen in a somewhat comical position over the blood pooled on the floor. Glancing at the floor I had an idea, I closed my eyes without the intention of opening them again. I felt Shadow moving (again I honestly can't explain how I could 'feel' Shadow moving, I just could) closer and closer until I felt the bed shift with weight. I remained calm, feeling no emotion, as I felt this odd hot/cold sensation fill me. Confused, my eyes fluttered open and I could see where I felt the heat and cold I was wrapped in Shadow. It was hugging me. I can't explain the feeling of being touched by this entity, I honestly can't. The only thing I think to explain it is feeling everything and nothing at the same thing. I believe I fell unconscious, stuck in this weird in between place until sunlight filtered through my window. After that it was chaos, Mom and Dad panicked and drove me to the hospital. Things were a little better after that so I didn't see Shadow much and after I married Mark at twenty, I didn't see it.

Now when I gave the reason for writing this, I lied. It isn't to help calm scared kids, no it is because I have started seeing it again this past week. Shadow is back after all these years, it is like seeing an old friend. I am here in this big lonely house by myself. Dear Mark died a few years back and the kids have moved on with their lives. My bones ache and frankly I am just tired. I am planning on playing our favorite game tonight, but Shadow and I know the next time I lose and I'm caught, I won't just fall unconscious.