Intertwine

109 - I've Killed Loki

I looked over at Nat on my right. The cut on her cheek, the curls of her hair, the smear of her lipstick. She had made her choice, and I had made mine. I'd gone for Steve. Dependable, kind, trustworthy Steve. And she had chosen to break my heart. Of course she had.

Because, just maybe, that's why I'd developed those feelings. Because I craved something unexpected, wanted someone who would keep me on my toes. Natasha Romanoff would never tell me to stay down and rest. Natasha Romanoff would never tell me it was too dangerous. Natasha Romanoff... Natasha.

"Maybe we should call you the firefly, seeing as you light up like a torch now." She murmured in my ear.

"I think we should concentrate on moving Roara away from Omen, it's a shit name."

"I like it." Bucky grunted.

"You would say her shits smell like eau de toilette Bucky dear." I retorted.

Nat held back a snort.

We were close enough to hear everyone's favourite couple arguing now.

"Look all I am saying is-" Roara began.

"All? What do you mean all? Look he's gone, end of story, we can leave now." Loki interrupted, gesturing wildly with his hands.

"No! Loki, we can't! I have to finish this, I have to-"

"Ugh!" Loki grabbed Roara by the shoulders, shaking her lightly."You will die! He's infected your brain, he dies, that part of your brain dies with him! You'll be brain dead!"

"I KNOW!" Roara shoved him off her. "I know. You know I know." She smiled. "You have to let me go."

Loki shook his head furiously. "No. No I only just-" his voice cracked. And then he broke. I thought I'd seen him shattered before. Before when she was on a bed in the Avengers tower with machines and wires attached to her and the slow, regular beeping was all that reminded him she was still alive. Before when he'd carried her off the spaceship, her limbs limp and flailing, her skin grey and clammy from poison, as he'd placed her so gently onto the table and begged me, for the second time, to save her life. Before when his head had been in her lap and she had been stroking her fingers though his hair and he had cried and she hadn't and she had finally told him that he was the love of her life. And now the tears were falling hard and fast down his cheeks. "We were so close Roara. We were... You and me. We were supposed to make it out. We were supposed to last forever. What's the point of this life when the one person I'm living for isn't in it?"

She smiled, a broad, wide, open grin. It was so infectious I started smiling too, and I could taste the saltiness on my lips as I did so. I was crying. I wiped my tears away. I'd cried enough for one day and I didn't want anyone other than Clint knowing that, let alone Nat. She hadn't noticed. She was too busy looking at Roara and Loki. She wasn't crying. But she looked as though she wanted to.

"The point, my love, is to keep their memory going. You hold them in your heart." She pressed a hand to his chest, above his heart, looking up into his eyes, their height difference striking. "You hold them here, and you hold them tight, and that way you are living for them. That way they continue to live, through you. That's why there is a point."

He nodded, wiped his face, and kissed her quickly on the forehead. I didn't think anyone else had seen, but when he pulled her in and placed his lips onto her hair, she had closed her eyes. She had let out a small, shaky breath, and I could have sworn I saw a single tear drop from her cheeks. And then they were pulling away and the moment of intimacy was over.

"Right you big headed buffoon. You lost Locke, so you find him."

"Hey, I did not loose him, you were the one who-"