This is it. The biggest moment of the game— no, of my entire career! I ready my bat and get into the swinging stance. I remember what Coach told me; feet apart, eyes forwards, bat level with the ball. And then the moment comes. I can see the ball hurtling at me, almost in slow motion.
Just as I'm about to swing, I hear it. The song. The opening notes to Say It Ain't So by Weezer fill my ears. This is my worst nightmare, what will I ever do?
Before I can process the horror that has become a reality, I feel a gust of wind as the ball rushes past my side. The crowd goes wild.
But not for me. I look over to the middle of the field. I see them. Weezer. They've finally found me. They reach into their pockets and take out slices of American cheese.
Oh no! Who told them? Who told Weezer that I'm lactose intolerant?
I run, but there's no hope. They throw their cheese
The last thing I see is their ugly faces staring down at me, laughing
"Lol GREG! I guess our cheese wasn't good enough for you. This is what you get for BEING A BITCH"
