Dear diary,
Why do I still dream of him? This is ridiculous! It's been what? 5 years? I dated his best friend out of spite and moved 2000 miles to run from him and yet, STILL! And I'm engaged, with a daughter, a family and a life, and he's. Still. HERE. Do I need therapy? Jesus? Convert to some other religion? What?! Because a single sip of wine, and I'm stalking his Facebook page, praying he's still single as if that would change ANYTHING. What the hell is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me? How am I still this stupid. Why would he want me now? I'm surprised Jay is still here. Let alone him. I mean... look at me. I don't know how someone finds me attractive. Maybe it's because every man who's ever left, left me for the conventionally beautiful, blonde woman. Granted I'd leave any man for my own conventionally beautiful blonde woman. But he doesn't know that. Nor will he ever. Hell, my family doesn't even know but that's not the point. I wish he'd gotten ugly so I would feel better about myself. I don't understand how I'm still waiting for him to show up at my door after 5 years, and him dumping me twice for someone else. God I'm such an idiot.
