Thoughts

HER

I miss her so much and I can't even get her back. It is just sad I should be getting somebody else but that is just wrong cause they don't get anybody else my life is pretty much ruined. My life has been falling apart ever since she left me if I could I would try my best to get her back but I don't wanna mess up her life because of the way I feel what did I do to lose her I just wanna know that maybe then i'll be able to move on until then . . .

The day I woke up I knew something was wrong. I was dizzy and kept getting bad thoughts replayed in my head. I was also in pain all over my body. I felt sick but I didn't tell anybody. When I got to school I saw her but we didn't speak so I just kept walking. Later on I felt as if I was gonna die but I wasn't in pain I just couldn't deal with it .

DEPRESSION was what I was feeling. I knew I needed somebody to make me happy but I didn't care for anybody at the time but her. My body felt weak as I kept thinking. I soon realized I messed up and I was never gonna be happy again so I did the only thing I could do to escape my pain. I went to sleep.

When I woke up from the nap I felt weird. I wasn't sad anymore. I just lost it all then she said one word that broke my heart NO. The world froze, my body was cold. I never wanted to hear that from her. I was sure of the topic they were talking about. Every night you go to sleep and you remember what you saw and you remember how it felt and you remember that horrible feeling in your soul. Nobody can comfort you. It's something I gotta deal with."

I no longer had feelings; I lost all hope in her. She was the second best thing that happened in my life and it all crashed because of my actions and the few words I said . At home I listened to music that would keep me from thinking about her. I even texted people I hated. I watched movies and ate a lot of food but every time I blinked, time slowed down and an image of her showed up in my head. She was the most beautiful girl I knew. Now she treats me as if I'm not even there.

The next week I was no longer in my feelings. I knew a lot of people that liked me so I decided to give them a chance. Before I knew it I had 8 different girlfriends. I was a player and it felt so good so many people kept me happy but she was still on my mind and everyday I regretted my decision but there was nothing I could do now .

"You taught a lesson to me that I had to learn and i'm so sorry cuz u let our bridges burn I said I love you and i wish i never did I swear to God I swear to God u stupid bitch"