Jiang Cheng deserves a break

Chap 8: Jiang Cheng has a Crisis part2

She opens yet another booklet and begins marking, as if the papers she holds in her hands listed Master Hua's attributes. "I think you two will get along, swimmingly." This time, she glances up from her paper and sends Jiang Cheng a supportive smile.

The panic settled within him before the dread did. She noticed me looking at him? Shit. I thought I was being subtle. What does she think of me now? Who else saw me gazing at him?

(Observing, Jiang Cheng mentally corrects himself, I was simply observing Master Hua.)

Stubbornly ignoring the red flush on his cheeks, Jiang Cheng snaps at his advisor, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Madam Shu smiled teasingly, brave enough to even dare to test Jiang Cheng's fury. "Don't play coy, I saw how you looked at him during last month's conference." This, this question Jiang Cheng knows was asked on purpose to gauge a reaction out of him, and Jinghua succeeded.

Jiang Cheng was no doubt red in the face now, and his need to defend his pride and ego broke the last of his restraints over his temper, "So what if I was looking at him? It is not like there was some--some connection or anything!"

Jinghua peered up at Jiang Cheng through her lashes. Her facial expression was the definition of 'I don't believe a word you say'.

Jiang Cheng drops the brush in his hand and lurched to his feet. "There wasn't!" He insisted, fists clenched tightly at his sides, "Shu Jinghua! I am not a fucking cutsleeve like you, I am normal because I like women like I am supposed to!"

A moment passes, and he blinks. Once, twice.

His heart plunges down--low, low, low--into the pit of his stomach, the moment the implications of his words caught up with his brain. His apology gets stuck in the back of his throat, unable to leave his shruken espohagus.

The papers crumpled beneath Jinghua's iron grip on them and she stilled in her seat, her face carefully neutral--and it so closely resembles how his father used to look at him when Jiang Fengmian wasn't pleased with him.

His advisor was known for her endless patience when it came to dealing with the worst of Jiang Cheng's tantrums, but her silence now was disconcerting--and Jiang Cheng was fucking terrified of what she'll say next.

Fear enveloped him, akin to when the *Core Crusher posed over him all those years ago to crush his golden core. Yet somehow, this fear was five times as worse. For a moment, he cowardly thought that the older woman will hit him like his mother would have.

Then, Shu Jinghua's face falls and her ever, perfect posture slouches over--as if all the air in her lungs had holes in them and deflated like ruined lanterns.

"Is that......what you think of me...?" Her voice sounds so broken and sad, like she's had this talk before (and she probably had) but it's as if Jiang Cheng's reaction is hurting her the most. "Do you think that there is something wrong with me? Because I like women instead of men?"

Jiang Cheng doesn't respond, his face remains impassive.

"Aren't I and my wife cutsleeves, too? Not to mention your brother and your brother in-law." Madam Shu asked emotionlessly. Her eyes pierce a hole into his head when she gazes up at him. "Are you--forget it. This one apologises for insinuating that leader Jiang is a cutsleeve."

Jiang Cheng couldn't understand the tone she was using. Is she furious? Disappointed? His heart jumped into his throat, thumping loudly in his head and he can't hear what his advisor said next. His ears caught the tail end of Madam Shu dismissing herself, and he watches as she gets up to leave.