It's not bad, however, the muted colors meant to evoke dystopian themes are lost due to a lack of contrast. The title color choices are excellent, but while I get the intention, it's trying to do too much at once and loses the overall effect.
TITLE
Strong and evocative. It promises a lot and puts a burden on the story to deliver.
BLURB
The content of the description is solid, but I have two minor issues with it. The last paragraph should be the lead-in because it's a clear synopsis that packs the strongest punch. The rest is built on that. I'd have swapped them. Also, it doesn't need the last line comparing it with other stories. This sets very specific expectations beyond the storyline and tampers with the readers' ability to appreciate the author's worldbuilding.
STORY
The imagery is great, and I can appreciate the world developing as the plot advances. The language is natural and comfortable to read, and the author has a great vocabulary. The narrative is a little on the telly side, with unnecessary words and sidelines peppered throughout, both of which tend to get in the way of the story. Pacing is choppy, rushing forward, stopping suddenly, then circling back, depending on the thoughts of the MC. It's understandable, but I found myself losing empathy with the protagonist early on because of it. I'm also missing an inciting moment. We're dropped into the middle of a slice-of-life scene without preamble. It's interesting because there's immediate action, but there's no scene transition and no payoff even five chapters in.
CONCLUSION
I struggle a lot with judging books like this because there's a clear story I'm interested in and a clear world I want to get to know better, but from the standpoint of an author, a reader, and a contest judge, I can't give it full marks due to regular and repeated bumps in the overall narrative. This is a good example of a writer with intelligence, creativity, and experience, who needs further development in storytelling and audience awareness.
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I really like this cover. It's professional, clean, and compelling, and the juxtaposition of the old parchment with the promise of science fiction is great. The only thing I'd like to see is less dependence on the title to provide that tension, some otherworldly element to tie up the concept.
