I liked the blurb. The quote, in the beginning, was really good, but you could mold it in such a way it depicts the theme of the story a bit more. And the story synopsis given in the blurb was really good. But there were a few grammatical errors in the same. Like, "He didn't have a choice when his father is sick and he has to step up", this sentence needs a comma before the word "and". And the word "luna" is actually a noun, since it is a title, it needs to have proper capitalization as "Luna". And in this sentence, "...his luna was his next-door neighbor and only she could bring light to his life." needs to have a comma after the word "neighbour". I would ask you to try and add precise short sentences instead of dragging the sentence along too.
The prologue was pretty mysterious, it causes weight in the story and makes the readers excited for the next chapter. As for the opening chapter, it was pretty nerve-wracking and had an intense beginning. But I did notice a lot of grammatical errors, especially in capitalization and punctuation. Also, try to align the story into paragraphs and divide them neatly. Also, the way her character is shaped is very obvious in the chapter, which is pretty amazing.
The characters are pretty great. But I'm not going to lie, I have read a lot of similar characters. A girl with an abusive father, is really good, stays strong, is emotionally wrecked. The guy is a playboy, a "bad boy" who dumps girls every day until he meets the one and becomes lovey-dovey. And whatever problems arise in the relationship, it's the guy's fault. And of course, the ever bright and helpful best friend. I would ask you to twist a few characteristics and change the story a bit more.
As I said earlier in the characters section, I've read too many books like this, I feel potential in your work and I would love to encourage you to go for more different plotlines and characters. Why can't the girl be the bitchy one, with the playboy characteristics? Why can't the guy be the one with the abusive father, why can't the best friend be someone cunning and wicked? I'm just giving suggestions, but it would be great if you implement them.
I think the writing style was okayish. It had a lot of filler things like them going out with their friends. I would suggest incorporating more of the plot in the story. It was a humorous one, and I'm not sure if you're sticking to the werewolf genre. It looks like humor fiction with werewolf in it to me.
The pace of the plot was a bit dragged and it doesn't seem like the story is conjoining the events in the story.
This plot of fated mates, one leaving the other, the girl being the strong mentally-willed one and the guy being like a playboy till the mate is super cliched to me, not going to lie. This plot has been there since the beginning of the writing of such stories. Cliched stories are fine, but their backbone is the plotline.
In this part, I saw mistakes, especially in capitalization and punctuation. Like this one, "So Uhm, what did you want..."; In this line, you just need to capitalize S, not the word "uhm". Also, the use of that word makes the book feel really informal. Then there is a dialogue, "Ok, it's official. I am Delusional", the word "delusional" does not need to be capitalized. Please edit the book thoroughly and try to re-read the whole chapter before you update.
I liked the story, but as I said. I've read too many books just like this. What makes it different? What is new in the plot, these are the attributions to be taken care of.
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