deja vu

just a short story

Ugh, I hate fall. I used to love fall. It was my favorite. It made me feel safe..

Comfortable. But now it's just a tiring reminder of my seasonal depression. Anyways i have to go to the airport to catch my flight, oh SHIT MY FLIGHT! I'm not going to be late.Im going to be 3 hours early. I just overthink about missing my flight. Planes scare me a little, being so high up in the air.. I'm literally 25 yrs old. What is my problem

I arrived at the airport 2 and a half hours earlier.. Shit half an hour earlier than I expected. It's fine.

It's crowded.... All I see here are middle aged moms still in their pjs, angry tired dads, and annoying ass babys. Won't they ever just shut their mouths already?. I get watery airport coffee and sit at a cafe to get myself to chill the fuck out already.

I'm sitting down and I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder. "Excuse me, could you please help me?" I turn and see this tall man, dark fluffy hair, horrid posture, nice style tho. He looks about my age, older? He's all asking directions, like who do I look like to you? A map? no . God, I hate people. I notice he's staring at his feet this whole time. I say no cause I did. Im a fucking jerk arnt i. He finally looks up from his feet and stares me in the eyes giving a nervous smile and almost walks away. "Wait, do I know you?" He looks oddly familiar. I'm getting deja vu. "No sorry i dont think we've met, sorry."

I look closer into his eyes and he moves his hair slightly out of his face. Oh my god. I start crying. This is so embarrassing... he notices this. Ofc the strange man did. And asks what's wrong. I say nothing but apparently he wants to be curious. "You look like an old friend... someone i used to know" i blurt out. "Wanna tell me about him?" I froze... I've always hated this topic. The topic of them.. The person the man reminds me of. It's why I have all this seasonal depression. I sigh.. "Hm fine, i still have an hour and a half to kill" "ok im all ears" he said.

And so I started. "When I was 13 it was the year 2021. This was in july. I had known this one guy, they're name was nex. We had been friends for a month or two. I had asked them out after developing huge feelings for them. I was in love. I started with a really nice pickup line- you ready.. It was.. "Wanna date? Jkjk unless ''I hear a chuckle from the stranger I was spilling my secrets to. I will continue. They said yes and we started dating. Us dating was one of the best things I've ever experienced. We would sleep on calls and stay up until 4 am talking and talking. We were long distance btw. They lived in Colorado and I lived in michigan. The stranger looked intrigued.

Sometimes.. A tear fell from my face. Sometimes we would be on calls and they would pose for me to take screenshots. I'd smile until my face hurt from smiling. I miss those days. I'm off here rambling and here the stranger is ... listening perfectly. He's a very good listener. It was then August and it kinda felt as if we were drifting apart. Did I mention they barely posted me? "What a bozo" the man said. The man was funny. Anyways. I felt as if we were drifting. They never wanted to go on calls anymore, and just seemed less interested.

The day came. We were texting normally. We had just said I love you a few hours ago.. And then I got a breakup text. "I think we should break up" I was devastated. I didn't try to get them to stay or anything. I wouldve fought so fucking hard but i was in shock and i couldnt cry in front of my mom. Young heartbreak really affected me. So we broke up and I sobbed for weeks, they got two partners and I was even more devastated about that. They were polyamorus. I was so heartbroken I couldn't bear it. I cut myself and relapsed a whole lot of times. They were my everything. But I couldn't let them know that. That would be selfish.

We were of course still friends. People say you can't be friends with someone that you're in love with. I tried to prove them wrong. It hurt. We ended up not talking anymore, basically parting ways. When we were together, we talked about wanting to cuddle and watch scary movies together on halloween but that never ended up happening. I was so jealous that they're in-person partners could see them every day, and hold them.. I was so envyus. But alas I was happy they found someone that made them happy. I don't know why I remember this so vividly to be honest.. I was interrupted... There was an announcement that my flight would take off in half an hour. I had to go.. I am so dumb.. "I forgot to ask, but what's your name stranger?" I asked. "You first," they said. My name is Kai . kai cole. They smiled so hard as they said. My names nex... nex orth.

My jaw dropped and I started crying. I gave them the biggest hug. Dang.. you were just letting me embarrass myself talking about how heartbroken I was over you? "Yea, yea i was. It was lovely talking to you kai. Until we meet again love.." nex said. They walked away to their flight as they met up with their wife and kid. My eyes filled up with tears as I got onto my plane. I'm glad they found someone I thought to myself... until we meet again.