Parallax

Chapter 11

Jasper blinked and looked at her in surprise. "I haven't thought of it that way."

"Probably because you're dwelling on your weakness. I know I would sound bias because a version of you is my mate, but the truth is, you're not weak Jasper, you were just unprepared and was caught off guard with her blood." He was deep in thought so Bella continued.

"That's why I blame Edward's overprotectiveness. Instead of keeping you away from Bella, he should have taken the same precaution of allowing everyone, especially you, to get used to her scent, that's what my mate did"

Jasper frowned. "So... you're saying that if we didn't stay away, we could have avoided that accident?"

Bella nodded. "Think about it, you have been dealing with newborns most of your vampire life and you're exposed to their bloodlust more than anyone else here but have you gone into a frenzy whenever food is brought to them?" He was surprised at how casually Bella just talked about that ugly part of his life that he merely shook his head in response.

"I'm surprised myself that a small papercut caused you to lash out because in my world, you've been tending to my wound every time my clumsiness would get the better of me. Even when the family was around, most especially Edward. The worst thing that all of you did was walk out on me when the blood was too much and even then, when I would get a cut when the family was around, nobody has ever tried attacking me because they've lost control"

"I never thought that could even be possible..."

"You underestimate yourself too much. If it matters, Bella forgives you even if she thinks that it's not really your fault. Since she's not available at the moment, I'm the one telling you in her behalf"

A small smile finally formed in Jaspers lips. "It does matter. Thank you"

Jasper studied her for a moment and Bella had to keep herself from melting from his gaze.

"Aren't you bothered? About my past, I mean." Jasper finally asked. "You mentioned that, how we came to be with the family was still the same so in your reality, I'm still that soldier from the Southern wars. You said so yourself, I had a much darker past than Edward."

Bella shook his head.

"When you... I mean... the other Jasper finally opened up about his past, I have never felt more closer to... him than I have ever been. Knowing that he was willing to share the scariest and ugliest side of his life doesn't make me bothered at all. In fact, it made me love him even more.

I guess that's the thing with loving someone irrevocably... you accept them for who they are regardless of their past because that's what made them who they are. It doesn't matter anymore what they've done in the past because what matters is that they chose you to be their future. And I am truly honored that it was me who gets to see the true Jasper, scars and all that"

When she spoke, she couldn't help but feel the love, joy, and pride for her mate and at the same time the longing of not having him by her side even if she was technically talking to another version of her mate. She felt that a part of her was missing yet she knew deep inside that it was just there within her reach but no matter how much she tried, she could never get a hold of it.

It was like being trapped in an unbreakable glass wall where she can see her salvation on the other side. She can see him, hear him and feel him yet the wall was keeping her from him and there was nothing that she could do about it.

She clutched her heart in one hand, trying to keep the pain that was slowly building up from overwhelming her. It was starting to feel like the same pain that the present Bella felt when Edward left but this time, it was her own. She only realized that it was just there inside her, waiting for it to grow the longer she stayed in this world.

Jasper felt all the changes in her emotions and he winced. His hand went out for her but he stopped himself, not sure if having the image of her mate, comforting her might actually make it worst so he lowered his hand instead.

"I'm sorry... for making this harder for you. Do you want me to..." Jasper tentatively asked and he sent a tiny wave of calmness her way for just a few seconds, wanting to see if she would accept it or not and when she nodded, he finally enveloped her with his gift and her body visibly relaxed.

After a few minutes, when she was finally in control of her emotions, he slowly eased away his influence.

She looked at him with gratitude but there was sadness there that Bella could not hide because unlike this Jasper that was able to use his gift on her, her Jasper didn't need to do that.

She hugged herself and sighed deeply. "I'm trying really hard to keep it together but I don't know how long I could hold on. I don't want to be like this Bella. I'm afraid of what I'll feel if I can't find my way home and what scares me the most is... I'm afraid of what it'll do to him if I don't come back..." She whispered the last part.

That has been the one thing that she had been trying to avoid thinking, what would happen to her mate. It wasn't just her who would be suffering if she would not be able to return to her own time, her mate would be suffering with her and the worst part was, he doesn't have an inkling to what had happened to her.

"We're going to get you home" Jasper suddenly declared and her head snapped up to look at him. There was a determined look on his face.

"I have felt Edward and Bella's pain and I can feel yours as well. I wouldn't wish that to anyone including myself and whatever version of me there is out there. We will get you home and you will be with your mate"

At that moment, Bella allowed the tears that she has been trying to keep, to fall.