Intertwine

82 - Bet You Didn't See That One Coming

"Shut up!" I yelled at him. "You've fucked up enough."

"Jesus." I heard him walk towards me, and then felt a hand on my shoulder.

It was the most painful sensation I'd ever felt. It was worse than bringing Loki back from the brink of death, worse than either of the times I'd been shot, worse than being stabbed, worse than being burned, worse than anything in my entire life. I could feel myself being ripped out of my body, as though my entire being was being torn in two. And then I was standing beside myself, looking at... well looking at Roara.

"That's much better." Simon grinned. "Sit." He tapped the bed.

My physical body followed his command. I, on the other hand, took a few steps back, looking at him and me. 

"Now Roara." He said, looking straight at me. Not my body, not the Roara sat on my bed, but me, the me that didn't actually exist. I looked down at myself. I was transparent, like a ghost, I could see my desk and chair through my stomach. I looked back up. "Yes, I can see you."

I tried to scream, but no sounds were coming out.

"You're not actually standing there. It's all a little complicated. Essentially you're locked away in the back of your mind, but I've allowed you to roam free a little. What I've done, Roara, is control your mind. Now right now you're able to know the difference between this," he gestured to my body, "and this." He gestured to me. "But I could just as easily control your mind in a way that you wouldn't even know it. Turn you against your friends, make you leave the building. I can leave you with the memories of what you've done under my control, or I can take them away. It's entirely my choice."

I really wanted to scream now. I wanted to collapse, but I didn't have any control over my physical body. 

"What you're in right now, it's similar to an astral form, but it's actually not. It's more like a shadow of yourself." 

Whatever I was, a shadow, a ghost, I fell to my knees. I looked up at my physical body, my face smiling and complacent. 

"However if I do this." He slapped my physical body across the face. My shadow body was flung sideways, my face stinging painfully. "You can still feel it."

I was trapped. I was trapped. He'd trapped me. I was in a prison of my own mind. This wasn't like depression, this was, this was entirely different. 

"So, you might have been wondering recently why you've been losing track of time. Well it's because I've been practicing how you work as a puppet. Everyone's different, you see, everyone. It gets a bit of getting used to." 

I listened in horrified silence.

"You're probably wondering what sorts of things I can do when you're under my control and you can remember it. Well I can get you to kiss me, dance with me, become overly angry at your friends, even, well even decide you like me a little bit."

The night of the party. I'd danced with him. I'd kissed him. That had been my choice though, stupid choices, but I'd made them. I had. I knew I had. Or... or had I? When I'd come back from Vanahiem, for some reason, I'd decided I didn't hate him. Why? Because he'd been nice? Was that really it? Had that been me... or had it all been him? All this time?

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. 

"I'm going to bring you back now." He pulled his S.H.I.E.L.D issued gun out of it's holster and held it next to my head. "And you're going to be quiet while we chat. Alright?" He tapped my shoulder.

I slammed back into myself, my body burning. I looked at him, complete terror taking over my mind. The metal tip of the gun was cold against the side of my head.