Interview with the Vampire

Interview with the Author

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Maybe I should ask what you don’t like?

Lori: Hmm, that is tough. Maybe… I really, really hated my history text from grade 10.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Okay, so you’ll read anything not concerning the role of imperialism in WWI. And out of all this reading, what’s your favorite Wattpad story?

Lori: Wow, you ask hard questions! Let’s see. Oh, I read a really funny dictionary the other day!

AndreaPorcelainDoll: (Sputters into drink) Baby Girl, we have got to get you out more often! Agh, shoot, I think I got, like, peach schnapps up my nose.

Bartender: One red wine, and a Sex on the Beach!

Lori: (Calling the bartender back) Excuse me! We didn’t order these.

Bartender: Compliments of the gentlemen at the end of the bar.

Lori: That’s a little pushy, buying us two drinks.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: No, not those guys. Those guys, at the other end of the bar.

Lori: (looking disappointed at her red wine) I wanted to have a mixed drink next. Yours looked so good.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Here, switch. (To bartender) Hey Greg! The next guys are buying us mojitos, okay? (And back to Lori) Okay, so I asked you a question and you pretended like you answered it! Not good enough! Name your favorite Wattpad story, just one.

Lori: Just one? Umm… okay, I’m really enjoying ‘The Casquette Girls’ by Alys Arden. Her main character, Adele, is so real I just find myself totally lost in everything she says and does.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: And what would you say is your most memorable Wattpad moment so far?

Lori: Oh, that’s easy! I originally posted just two chapters of Prettiest Vampire, a spooky one about Mirela and a funny one about Lilian. Then about half an hour later I got my first comment on the chapter about Mirela, from @DreamsMadeReal, and she said it gave her shivers! Then another five minutes and she commented on the second chapter, and she totally got what I was doing! It was the greatest feeling ever.

Bartender: Two mojitos, compliments of the gentlemen at table 12.

Lori: (Laughs) I can’t drink this! I’ve barely started my second drink.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Come on, you have to try this. Just drink it, you are going to love it! I was raised on these.

Lori: Haha! Somehow I don’t believe you. (Sips mojito with a drink in both hands) Wow! Nice. So can you maybe ask some more questions before I’m completely smashed?

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Okay. Question number… whatever. What makes your stories different from all the others?

Lori: My villains are unlike any characters I think anyone has ever seen before. Most vampires and demons are either totally evil, or else they’re demons with a heart of gold, or sometimes they’re comic evil and just for cheap laughs. I wanted mine to be something else. I wanted them to be totally ruthless, evil and uncaring, capable of brutality and even murder, and yet I wanted the reader to really like them! There is no doubt that Daciana and Ilinca are evil, and yet they plot their evil deeds with such childlike innocence that you have to love them. And even Dodrescu, who grabs people by the throat and terrorizes them, by the end of the story I think readers will really like him. I wrote them so readers would realize, somewhere deep in the past these characters were people, and sometimes those personalities shine through.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Very cool. And what motivates you to keep writing?

Lori: All these words in my head! Seriously, when I have a story in my head, there’s no room for anything else. I’ll be at work or somewhere and a scene will pop into my head, and I literally can’t stop playing it in my mind until the day is over and I’ve gone home to get it all down on the computer.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: How’s your boss feel when this happens?

Lori: Haha, she’s not thrilled! Just so you know, there may be aspects of Mr. Dilworth that are based on her! Wait, no. I take that back! (Looking at glass) What’s in a mojito?

AndreaPorcelainDoll: And what about when you get writer’s block?

Lori: I can always write, the only question is whether what I write will be any good! Like I said, sometimes an entire scene comes to me, and I know it’s going to be amazing! Those are the best times, and it’s not really like writing. More like, taking dictation from my brain. But other times I sit down without prior inspiration and I don’t know what I’m going to get. The story may just flow from my fingers, or I may need to drag it out. What I get at those times usually needs a lot of reworking!

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Now tell me somethin’ completely random ‘bout yourself.

Lori: Uh, hahaha! Uh, okay I’ll confess, I’m not a good drinker!

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Seriously? (Smiles) I would not have guessed.

Lori: So when I drink I’ll like, babble? Babble babble babble, saying way too much way too fast. But then eventually, I just kind of…

AndreaPorcelainDoll: (Waits expectantly, then…) Stop?

Lori: (Sleepily) I know, right?

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Not good. We still have questions. Hey Greg, can we get a coffee over here?

(Five minutes later)

AndreaPorcelainDoll: You ready?

Lori: (Sips coffee) Oh sure! I just needed to get my second wind, that’s all. Fire away!

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Where do you get your inspiration?

Lori: The stories themselves, I often get from watching old movies. I’ll watch a vampire movie and say, who are those two harpies hanging out with the main girl vampire? They never have any lines, and the vampire is always telling them what to do. Don’t they get tired of that after three or four hundred years? All kinds of questions pop into my head as I watch movies, and some of them lead to characters or sometimes entire stories.

Then the comedy aspects usually come from my real life. I’ll be talking with friends, and I’ll say something that makes them roll on the floor, and I’ll lock that away for later and give it to Ilinca or Daciana to say! Just about every day I’ll say something either so funny or so stupid, usually stupid. So I expect to be writing for a long time.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: And is there anything you’d like to say to your loyal readers?

Lori: Yes! I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you! You have no idea how much I appreciate you reading my stories. And I have so many more planned. I love you all so much!

AndreaPorcelainDoll: Okay, that’s it. Thanks Lori, this was fun. (Gets up, grabs her purse and heads for the door)

Lori: (Following behind, out to the street) That’s it? It’s still early. There must be lots of things we can do! I saw a karaoke place a couple blocks over.

AndreaPorcelainDoll: (Walks down street) Haha, karaoke? No, I don’t think so.

Lori: Question for you, Ms. Hotshot Wattpad Reporter! What’s your favorite karaoke duet?

AndreaPorcelainDoll: No, no, no, I’m not going to do this! (Sees look on Lori’s face)… Uhg! Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart!

Lori: (Using pretend microphone) ♫ I couldn't if I tried! ♫

AndreaPorcelainDoll: ♫ Honey if I get restless, ♫

Lori: ♫ Baby you're not that kind! ♫

AndreaPorcelainDoll, Lori: (Both holding imaginary microphone) ♫ Ba, ba, ba...

(The recording malfunctioned at this point. Thank God. Seriously, they went on to sing ‘Build Me Up, Buttercup’. You do not need to hear that.)