I'm not broken (RoyalChaos)

Chapter 26 - The deep blue sea

His eyes teared up and I wanted to comfort him. "I'm sorry", I murmured, "I just remember getting pulled underwater and...". My senses seemed to be coming back to me, because I could suddenly think clearly again. "I swallowed salt water and I was so scared of drowning, it was like I couldn't breathe out of fear and I couldn't move and it was so horrible".

"Oh, Anthony", Ze whispered and I watched a tear roll down his face, "You might have had a panic attack and couldn't function properly after that. I was so scared for you".

Was that how a panic attack felt like? And Ze had those so often after every nightmare he had? How terrible... I hated seeing him as upset as he was right now, so I tried to cheer him up a bit. "So much for a relaxing weekend trip, right?", I muttered with a forced grin.

That didn't help, he only got more upset. "I'm so sorry, Anthy", he murmured, "As soon as they let you go we're gonna make this trip into what it was supposed to be, something special, I promise".

"It's not your fault, Ze", I exclaimed, "None of this is. We just happened to have some bad luck, that's all. It'll be alright, you'll see".

---

They let me go in the evening after they had made sure I was stable enough to leave, and after I had sorted out some paperwork that was going to be sent back to California. With Ze's hand supporting me at my waist and my arm laid around his shoulders we left the hospital and returned to the hotel to get me some more rest. Ze made sure that I was drinking enough water and wasn't pushing myself, much to my disapproval. I didn't want to be weak like this, I wanted to go out with him, have dinner and maybe go for a swim in the pool later on, but he insisted on me staying in bed until I was entirely sure I was fit again. I couldn't exactly fake that either, since I was still too weak to walk on my own for more than a few meters. But being completely honest, staying in bed like this wasn't too bad either. We had turned on the TV and were now watching the first TV screening of a new film. Ze was cuddled up next to me, his head on my chest and my arm around his shoulders. Having a lazy time and cuddling was something I cherished very much, so I couldn't be all that mad at my weakness.

"Zeee, I'm cold", I whined. It was true, I wasn't only weak, I was a bit cold as well, even though it was hot as hell outside.

Ze smirked and cuddled up closer whilst pulling the covers over us. He was probably sweating under the covers with the evening sun shining through the windows. But he didn't complain, he insisted on staying here with me, even though I had told him he could do his own thing while I relaxed a bit. He was taking care of me, had brought me soup and tea from the buffet downstairs, and fulfilled every little wish I had. And even though he had made it very clear that he didn't mind and that he wanted to put my health first, I still felt guilty and needy.

"Zeee", I murmured and he sighed and looked up to me.

"Yeah?"

"I just remembered something... At Christmas you told me you had a second present", I began and watched him confused as he blushed, "Do I have to wait until next Christmas for that?"

I meant it as a joke, but he took it to heart and sat up. "No, of course not!", he exclaimed, "I actually brought it with me, in case... In case you... Umm..."

I was so confused. Why was my present making him so embarrassed? "Umm, okay", I mumbled to myself and flinched as he suddenly dropped down on my chest, his face barely apart from mine.

"Anthy...", he purred and ran his fingers over my chest, "When was the last time we... You know..."

I raised an eyebrow. "Had sex?", I asked with a grin and he nodded, "I don't know, sometime before Christmas?"

"It's been way too long", he continued, and just as I wanted to pull him in for a kiss he backed off again, "Wait here, don't move".

I eyed him suspiciously as he got off the bed, grabbed a plastic bag from his suitcase and disappeared in the bathroom. What on earth was he planning on doing with me? Some kind of creepy bondage thingy or something even worse? I was all for having sex with him again but not if it was some weird shit we never discussed before. I sighed as I waited for him to come back. He finally did, only wearing black underpants. I sat up a bit, my interest was sparked again.

"That's definitely new", I commented, "Turn around".

He did so while looking at me over his shoulder. What. The words 'Santa, I've been bad' were written across his ass. What the hell. I burst out laughing, ignoring how my lungs hurt at that as well as Ze's frowning.

"Now I definitely want to get you out of your clothes", I yelped, "Ze, what were you thinking, those are ridiculous!"

He rolled his eyes and crawled back onto the bed with a grin on his face. "It was meant as a stupid joke", he explained, "I got you some as well".

"Oh no, don't tell me it says the same shit as your's", I giggled.

He shook his head and reached for the bag that he had brought back with him, pulling out another pair of black underwear. I took them from him and turned them around to see what was written on these ones.

"Naughty boy, interesting", I laughed, "Ze... Are there any more things I should be worried about?"

"Just alcohol-flavored condoms", he said as if he was reading his shopping list to me.

"Excuse me?", I grinned, "Do you think I'm really that addicted? How do they even get that flavor on them?"

Ze shrugged and shoved the bag and the underwear off the bed again. "I don't know, who cares", he murmured and crawled on top of me again, "All that matters right now is you and me".

I grinned and pulled him closer. "Alright, but be gentle, I'm still not fully recovered", I teased, "Now let's get you out of that thing".

---

A/N: Yay, I managed to finish another chapter. There won't be an update tomorrow cause I have to use all the time I have to study, but we managed to postpone our economy exam so I'll have time to write from Wednesday on. Still thinking about wether or not I should actually write smut for the next chapter, I always feel too embarrassed to do it tbh. Anyway, take care guys. <3

- Vicky