Pain, Love And Hate (MalexMale) TeacherxTeacher

Chapter 5

Sebastian frowns as he stares at Aidan; he wanted to be friends, not lovers. Sebastian looks up toward the ceiling and thinks to himself ‘well this is a good one, what have I ever done to deserve all this punishment.’ He could just laugh but it wasn’t funny, it was a humorless fucking joke. Sebastian couldn't help but wonder ‘am I being punk, is that it? Did Aidan come back just so he could take my heart and stomp on it, making sure that I'm suffering enough?’

‘’Ok, so you want to be friends?’’ Sebastian repeated in a harsh tone, all the happiness dissolving as soon as Aidan spoke of his idea. Aidan tries not to flinch at Sebastian’s tone. Of course he didn’t want to be just friends but it was as though everything he truly wanted to say scurried away. Aidan thought, maybe starting fresh would help them; it could be a good thing.

They’ve both changed a lot during all the years and it was going to take time to get to truly know one another again.

‘’I just thought that because we don’t know each other very well after all that’s happened, it’d be good for us to be friends.” And hopefully lovers soon after, but Aidan kept that little comment to himself.

‘’Ok, so from one friend to another, remember our high school graduation; where were you?’’ Sebastian knew he was being a jerk, but his patience was wearing thin and it was becoming harder to control his temper.

‘’Or hey, what happened the day before graduation; you left and dumped me, why?’’ Sebastian spat, immediately following his other question.

''Or maybe, instead of just leaving without a trace you give me a reason like, ‘hey guess what I just realized you are not good enough for me so I'm dropping your ass and moving away’ but you didn’t even have enough balls to do that!” Sebastian snapped angrily. Aidan didn’t know what to say to Sebastian, he should’ve known Sebastian would be mad at him and he truly had every right to be. After all, he left the man without so much as a word of what was going on. ‘’I understand you’re mad at me, but please understand that it was something I had to do.’’ Aidan tried to say but Sebastian just glared at him. ‘’That is entirely not acceptable, I need a good reason; so if you want to be friends, I suggest you start by being honest with me but until you can actually do that, you know where to find me.’’ Sebastian bites out then gets up, walking away from Aidan.

Sebastian wasn’t expecting to walk out of the coffee house by himself. No, he expected Aidan to tell him the truth then he would forgive him and maybe, just maybe, they would’ve gone back to his place and spent time relearning each other’s bodies. He wasn’t expecting a “let’s be friends speech” which just pissed him the fuck off. Sebastian growled as he made his way to his car, insulting the man he left sitting inside the coffee house. “What just happened?” Aidan thought as he sat in the same spot Sebastian left him in, speechless. All he wanted was for Seb to say, ‘yes let’s start over’ so they could get to know each other and maybe start a relationship from scratch. Start off as if they never met before. He wanted Sebastian back and he thought the man wanted the same thing but apparently he didn’t. Aidan rubbed his face, frustrated as he stomped out the coffeehouse and got into his car, driving off. As soon as he made it home, he just turned off the engine and sat there; thinking about what went down between Seb and him at the coffeehouse. Aidan didn’t know what to do, he thought about going to Sebastian’s and explaining to him; maybe even begging him for forgiveness. He immediately changed his mind; he was scared that he wouldn’t get the

answer he was praying for. Sebastian was mad as hell with him, so he doesn’t know what he was thinking they could ever be lovers again, let alone friends.

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Sebastian paced around his living room; he was still highly upset with Aidan. How dare he? How dare he think they would just become friends? Did he even realize how much pain he went through went he left him? Fuck, he even fell into depression.

It took him a while just for him to get over it and go to college, and now Aidan comes back and says ‘let’s be friends.’ Sebastian snorts loudly, yeah not fucking likely. He stops pacing and looks over at the clock, then with a long sigh he grabs his car keys deciding to go pay a little visit. Once he gets to his destination, the anger he thought that would have subsided grew bigger. He parked his car on the side of the road and slams his door shut then walks up to the front door and beats on it as if he was the police until it door swings open. ‘’Sebastian what are you doing here, is everything ok?’’ Aidan asks, obviously concerned by Sebastian’s sudden appearance. ‘’Fucking smug asshole, how fucking dare you! You think you can waltz back into my life after all you put me through and instead of giving me a fucking explanation, you ask to be friends?!’’ Sebastian growls as he pushes Aidan to the side and slams the front door as he shoves inside. ‘’Sebastian, I thought we could-.’’ Aidan starts but gets interrupted.

‘’Don’t, just fucking stop!’’ Sebastian growls out; all the while making his way towards the shaking man. Aidan was honestly thankful Brody still wasn’t home to witness this argument. Once Sebastian is close enough, he grabs a hold of Aidan’s t-shirt; balling it in his fists as he shoves him against the wall. His words were barely loud enough, but they fused from every fiber of his being; loud enough to boom through Aidan’s home and blow the roof off. ‘’You want to start over, be friends then why the fuck won’t you tell me why you left?! Or better why the fuck didn’t you face me like a man all those years ago and tell me you didn’t want me?! You should’ve fucking said something instead of running away like a fucking pussy!’’ Sebastian sneered at Aidan as he fired word after word. Aidan latched onto Sebastian’s wrists and stepped closer so much that their noses bumped. ‘’Because if I’d seen you, even for a minute; I would have chosen you and ignored everything else. I would’ve picked you instead of him and I wanted to do the right thing.’’ Aidan explained as Sebastian let go of his shirt, blinking rapidly.

‘’Who, who did you chose over me?’’ Sebastian questioned, scared to hear the answer but he needed to know the answer, even if it killed him, he had to know. All of the fight seeped out of Aidan; he lifted his hand, as if to caress Sebastian’s face, but stopped himself. He wanted to relearn everything about Sebastian; he wanted to get to know him inside and out like he used to. That wouldn’t have been an option, however, if he just spoke to Sebastian before he left. He should’ve trusted that Sebastian would follow him anywhere but he didn’t want Sebastian to be stuck with that choice simply because he didn’t want Sebastian to regret it and resent him later. Now it was time to come clean. It was time to tell Sebastian, the man he loved now as much as he did then, the whole truth.

‘’Brody. He was only eight years old and was going to become an orphan so I stepped up and decided to raise him. The night before graduation, his mom showed up and needed help so I said I would. He was family, no matter how that came to be, and I couldn’t ask you to drop everything and come with me, I didn’t want to be selfish.’’ Aidan spoke softly, so softly his words were barely recognizable but Sebastian still heard him. Sebastian stepped back, putting some distance between them. He lifted his head and gave Aidan a disappointed look. ‘’The thing is Aidan, you were being selfish. You were being selfish by not letting me decide for myself if I would or wouldn’t follow you. No matter how you look at it, you ended up doing the one thing you didn’t want to.’’ The rawness in Sebastian’s voice caught Aidan in the chest. Aidan stared as Sebastian stood in the too-bright living room, his jaw clenched so tightly that it drew attention to the sexy masculine hardness of his face, a face that was so different from the way it was in his teenage years.

Letting his gaze wander downward, Aidan’s mouth watered; the fit, cut, adult body was quite different from what he remembered seeing by the school football field. Aidan turned his attention to the floor, hating himself for hurting Sebastian how he did. ‘’I have to go, I need some time to think.’’ Sebastian grumbles looking around the house. Sebastian knew he needed to get out. He was mad at Aidan yet all he could think was how good Aidan would look riding him on the dining table. He knew Brody would be coming home soon and he didn’t want the boy to ask too many questions. ‘’We’ll talk about all this later.’’ Aidan sighs in relief at Sebastian’s words and nods quickly. As soon as Sebastian left, Aidan slumped to the floor; hugging himself and letting out a big sob. ‘’God help me, I still fucking love him.’’ He whispered as he looked up at the ceiling. He prayed Seb would forgive him. Now that he saw him again he wanted Seb, twice as bad as before.