27.09.21
She's losing herself, her mind, her weight everything around that. She has this feeling. The feeling that tells her she's not enough. She has friends but she feels like nobody likes her. She knows her friends like her, but those little moments they say "you're so weird" or "weirdo" and "shut the fuck up" those things let her her think she makes everything wrong. She has a family who loves her. A little sister, a little brother, a dad and a mom. It's actually everything normal in her life. She hit puberty and she knows this. Because of that she has often fights with her parents. And then there is this feeling again, that appears in the most nicest moments in her life. This feeling makes her feel so unreal and bad. She hates this feeling. And every night she cries till she falls asleep.
She has three best friends. The first best friend doesn't understand what's she feeling. Her second friend has friends who pretent to feel that way but don't feel so and that's why her second friend wouldn't believe her. Her third friend is a person who pretents to feel that way but doesn't feel so. Every time she tries to talk about her feelings with her third friend, her third friend comes up with"same" and this stupid"same" hurts her so damn fucking much but she says nothing.
Sometimes she hurts herself not often only if she doesn't find a way to calm herself down or punish herself. Sometimes she's thinking about what if she stops speaking or she runs away.
She doesn't need someone to talk, she needs someone to listen. She doesn't need comments who says "I'm here to talk" or "I'm here when you need something". She needs just someone who listens and now you're the one who is listening to her. She is thankful for everyone who's listening to her. She wants to write about her thoughts in here and what's going on in a normal teenager life with puberty and a little bit depression, she thinks.
She used to cry because she didn't want to die and wanted to live forever, now she cries because she wants to die but want to live for herself :/
ВЫ ЧИТАЕТЕ
She/Her
ПоэзияSome kind of shit poetry of my depressed life I think, ik no one cares but yeah. ( Actually this is just like a diary I write like no "poetry", maybe a bit) (poems will be written in the "I" point of view
