Loving Two

Chapter One

 226, 227, 228…

I sat on the cold, hard, metal chair, bored out of my mind. To pass the time, I counted the ever-so slow ticks of the clock.

Waiting was never my specialty. I was always the jittery, impatient one, ready to just jump into the unknown.

At least, that’s what my mother always told me. And my friends. And everyone else I’ve ever met that cared enough to say something.

But, this time was important. Very important. I couldn’t mess it up.

I was in line, waiting upon an audition. If I were to be accepted, it would guarantee me a modeling contract with Sunshine; a worldwide known magazine featuring the latest fashion.

If you haven’t already figured it out, I am a model. Not an über famous model like Kate Moss or Coco Rocha, but good enough to make a living.

And I’m not stupid either. Not like the modern model stereotype. I had graduated with a 4.0 GPA and would have become quite the architect if I hadn’t presumed being a model.

I came to this audition on request from my agent, Amanda. She said that this audition would be an amazing opportunity, opening me to broader contracts if I were to be picked.

There was quite a high percentage of getting selected with my profile; 5”9 stature, stick thin frame with slight curves, long light cappuccino coloured hair, big emerald green eyes encircled by long lashes, high cheek bones, rose petal lips and 3 years experience in the field of modeling.

I had started out when I was 18, just before graduation. I was out shopping for grad dresses, when Amanda, my now agent, spotted me and offered me a small job modeling for a shoe ad.

Being the shop-a-holic, fashion lover I was back then, I had instantly accepted.

I didn’t feel apprehensive until the day of the photo shoot. I couldn’t help, but think of all the negatives that could happen; tripping, not fitting in the clothes, pissing off the photographer, etc.

My body also started feeling distressed. I automatically clammed up from head to toe anf felt like throwing up. I had almost back out of going.

But, my mother, being the persistent and commanding person she was, forced me to go.

I nervously bounced around during the drive to the studio. It wasn’t until I came to the set, when my agitation turned into elation.

The first sight I saw was an enormous mound of shoes. There were literally millions of them! I was instantly infatuated.

Amanda told me I could keep ten pairs at the end. This only added to my excitement.

The shoot went great; get make-overed, teetered in a pair of crazy high heels, pose. The photographer had even complemented me on my abilities considering I was a rookie.

After the job, I got more and more requests. My modeling life just took off from then on.

Now, being 21 and actually experiencing the outside world, I began to feel the weight of pressure and regret on my shoulders.

Now a days, I’m much more moody. I’m rather grumpy, irritated, angry or any other synonym of upset.

It’s not that I hate modeling now. It’s still really exciting and I get a rush of adrenaline whenever I’m on set.

It’s just that it’s gotten slightly boring, doing the same thing everyday, repeatedly.

And giving yourself up to the director of the shoot. You become their canvas, where they can portray whatever they want. Where is my freedom in that?

I just hope this time, things might be different.