May I? (on hold)

Part 14

Rakshan: En ma? Ivan inga vettiya dhaane irukan.

He pointed to Ashwin.

Sivaangi: Avar enna kootitu poren nu solala. Edachu work irukum.

That's when Ashwin realized that he hasn't offered to drop her.

Ashwin: Nee enkooda variya?

The effect his warm base tone had on her was inexplicable. She wished to not give a damn when he used that tone with her but her heart had other plans.

She nodded in silence.

***

Being with him used to be her most favorite thing to do. Past tense.

They were now seated in the couch that over looked the beach and her eyes fixated on the waves that crashed against the shore incessantly, trying to reach the destination which it never would. Just like her.

Ashwin: Enna paaka kooda pudiklaya?

He had revealed his vulnerable self to her so many times before and he did not hesitate to do that again. He trusted her to handle his gentle heart and soul with utmost care. Much better than him at most times.

Her eyes moved from the waves to look at him. She hadn't noticed how hot and sexy he looked in his casual black tee and grey trousers. His beard was trimmed the way she like it most, just enough to make his dimple shine through when he smiled. His lips were dry and his longing eyes were looking into hers, more like drowning into hers.

She took a deep breath to collect her mind that was now wandering in dangerous places. It wasn't that unusual for her to lose sight of everything on her mind just by looking at him. He had that effect on her. Her body was so sensitive to his mere looks that just the thought of his body close to hers sent chills down her spine.

"Weren't I just so mad and disappointed in him like two minutes ago? This man. God the crazy things my mind and body does when he is close makes me feel so stupid. Heart? That's a whole different story."

She was in no state to form meaningful sentences. His hair that moved with the wind and his hands that were crossed across his broad chest. She was gawking at him just the way he was, a while ago. Yes, she noticed all of it and secretly felt good about it too. She liked what she was seeing.

"Pudichirku" her mind voice was screaming at her.

She gathered her conscious and sensible self quickly before she said anything that she would regret.

Sivaangi: Paathaachu. Happy ah?

She managed to say without a hint of smile. The white top and blush skirt made her look angelic. Her curls which were now completely messed by the sea breeze made it sexier than before, if that was even possible.

Ashwin: Hey Rowdy, Enna kovam?

He left her startled with the nickname no one but him dared to use. Another "just us" thing between them. He knew exactly how to make her heart melt. Didn't he?

Sivaangi: Kovama? Illaye.

Ashwin: Un kannu enkita poi sollaadhu.

Sivaangi: Ungalta kova padra urima enaku illa.

She moved her eyes away to look the waves again. They seemed to calm her disturbed mind.

Ashwin moved to sit closer to her and she felt his warm breath on her neck. There was barely any space between them but he was very conscious to not let his body touch hers.

Ashwin: Sivaangi ma... na onnu Kekalaama?

She nodded without looking at him as she did not trust her fickle heart to be in control if she looked into his eyes for one more moment.

Ashwin: Unaku nijamaave andha pasta taste panna odana en nyabagam varlaya?

There was an unknown sense of comfort the minute she tasted the dish. She wasn't going to deny that. Just like a mother's food, it felt homemade and very familiar. However, for some reason it did not remind her of him. She could not put her finger on a specific reason but she just did not.

Should she lie to make him feel better? Can she ever convince herself to be anything but honest with him? It was always a Big No.

She cursed herself for being disappointed in him while she let him down as well. How did she not think of him? Wasn't it their dish? How did she not recognize the taste of his food?

Sivaangi: Familiar ah irundhuchu but No. Unga nyabagam varla. I could have lied to make you feel better, but I could never lie to you.

She saw the change in his emotions on his face. Though he tried to conceal the pain, there wasn't much he could do. 

Did she not remember the taste of his food? But then he remembered the detail. In the past, whenever he wasn't around to make the dish for her and had to ask someone else to use his recipe, all she would say is "Nothing comforts me the way the food you make for me does."

It eased his pain. The solace he found in memories like these that were etched in his heart was unmatched.

The faint smile that appeared on his face made her wonder.

Ashwin: Am happy that it did not remind you of me.

Sivaangi: What?

Ashwin: Sivaangi ma... Na panra dish kum... En recipe vechu vera oruthar andha dish panradhukum world of a difference iruku nu adikadi solirka. I always thought it was because you knew it wasn't me cooking. Today, even without knowing any detail, your heart still recognized I did not make the dish myself.

She would have never thought from that aspect. As always, he trusted in her even when she failed to do that herself.

Sivaangi: Epdi ipdi ungalaala yosikka mudiyudhu?

Ashwin: Idhu na yosikala. Feel panren. En manasula.

He placed his hands over his heart.

Sivaangi: Ennala ungala purinjuka mudila. Apovum seri. Ippovum seri.

She confessed how puzzled she felt around him. One minute he was the epitome of understanding, care and love. But the next minute he was gone leaving her alone at the rock bottom.

Ashwin: Apdinu un mind solludhu. Aana un manasuku enna nallave puriyum. Appovum seri... ippovum seri.

That was true. Her heart never wavered. Be it in his presence or absence, he was the only one in her heart. Even when she was drowning because of the love she had for him, her heart never stopped loving him. Love was indeed blind and stupid but also selfless and whole-hearted.

He held his hand out hoping that she would take it but what she did instead bowled him over. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thoughts?

If you have not read my other story 'Miracle in the Making', do give it a try. 

If you do read it, the next update maybe slightly delayed because I am trying to organize all the different pieces to make it as interesting as possible. Please bear with me. Sorry for the delay.