sailing miles away // tomokazu

to retrieve the memories, to retrieve home

"uh, gods..."

he had thoma's hands gripping his arms and firmly holding him in place within a sparkle of a second. the dizziness melted away to the blood pounding through his temples, and he opened his eyes ready to face thoma's wrath.

"bed. now."

no one could resist that fierce look on thoma's face, even though it was hilarious considering most of the time he looked and behaved like a puppy. ayato didn't really care about the possible consequences of his equally possible rebellion, but he didn't have much energy left in his muscle to protest.

the most he could do was slap thoma's butt again as they walked, hearing thoma growl into his ear.

"a change of plans."

kamisato ayato was then picked up bridal style and couldn't even feign surprise. he deserved anything that was to come, but he first remembered something important, "wait."

"no."

"someone has to tell kazuha and the other that-"

"kazuha knows, they'll do what they consider right."

"okay. one last request."

thoma rolled his eyes, "yeah?"

"be gentle, my back is killing me."

thoma laughed mercilessly.

---

kaedehara kazuha felt his neck break with the tiniest of movements.

he didn't know what time it was when he woke up with his cheek on his arm, and his arm on the edge of the mattress. he looked around in confusion. only after a minute did the pieces fall back together.

they made it to the kamisato estate. they were safe.

tomo was still fast asleep on the big white pillow, paler than the pillow. under all these lights and bedsheets, he truly looked pathetic. it was all those colors that evaporated, and the cheekbones prominent in the shadows, as well as the fact that when he slept he was vulnerable to the bone.

kazuha stared at him and couldn't stop his hand from reaching out and pushing a strand of sandy hair away. tomo moved a little and exhaled.

kazuha's fingers brushed against his skin gently like a touch of wind, marking their way through his forehead, down his temple, and resting for a bit on his cheek. all the while kazuha bit down hard onto his lip, trying not to let his breath detach tomo from his sleep.

the first tear fell down unnoticed. the second one made him blink. as the third and fourth followed, kazuha gripped at the bedsheets and gave up.

finally.

finally he had allowed himself to cry.

he didn't remember when was the last time he let the weakness take him over. was it on the first day after? maybe. now it had a different taste to it, a different shade of blue. he was crying in relief, crying in hopelessness and crying because tomo was so beautiful and so destroyed, lying here deprived of memories and chased by arrows, and kazuha could only carry the weight of their past alone.

when the daybreak came, the sun poured through the curtains. it was still too early. everyone in the estate was asleep.

only kazuha had his eyes open staring inside a nowhere.

little did he know he was not the only one.

tomo's eyes carried a shadow of recognition he knew would fade away soon. he knew his memories were a seeve and didn't stay with him for long. at most, he could connect emotions and link them to the pictures briefly scattering through his head. and they were all undeniably connected to the boy who cried on his bed.