One and Only

Ch. 22 A Very Bad Day

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I could hear a rhythmic beeping. Somewhat slow, but often enough to make me stir. Then came the hushed sound of voices, and I remembered what happened. Blood rushed in my ears. I felt someone touch my arm and my reflexes kicked in. I grabbed onto the person and wrapped my hands around their throat. I squeezed and squeezed until I couldn't anymore. I couldn't even see yet, everything was a blur. Then I felt someone grab onto my arms to try to pull me away. I screeched and threw them over my shoulder. Strained hugs came from my throat as I lunged at the person I just threw, but I felt someone else tackle my side. I was in a frenzy, I kicked and punched at the person who held so tightly to me.
"Fucking- let go! Get off!" I screamed at them. My voice hoarse.
"M-!" I could hear the faint sound of someone trying to talk, but I wasn't about to stop.
"M-!!" The same voice came again.
"Mai!!" I snapped out of the stupor. My arms in the air, mid strike. I looked around and saw that I was in a hospital room. Suguru held on to me while Shoko looked at me with fear as she held her throat. My eyes darted around the room, trying to make sense of everything. "Calm down. It's us. You're okay, you're safe." Suguru almost chanted behind me.
"Wha-? Where is he??" I said in a rush. "Where is he??" At this point, I wasn't sure if I was talking about Toji or Satoru. That's when realization hit me. "Am I in a hospital?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Waves of memories flooded my mind. "Where's Satoru? Satoru?! WHERE'S SATORU??!" I desperately called out and thrashed in Suguru's arms..
"Mai-! Stop!" Suguru tried to hold me down.
"No!! Where is Satoru?! Riko?! Kuroi??! What happened??!!" I cried out. Suguru didn't say anything. He just watched me with pained eyes.
"I'm sorry," Shoko said with a raspy voice. "They didn't make it." She looked at me with sad eyes.
"What?" I stopped moving. Suguru still held on to me, but this time as if I were something fragile. Something that would break if he let go. "What do you mean? They didn't make it? What??"
"They're dead, Mai. I'm sorry." Shoko finished. I felt my breathing go shallow and quick.
"No, that's not right. They made it to the merger? Didn't they? Suguru was supposed to-?" I looked behind me. Suguru didn't look at me, his eyes were downcast and full of shame and guilt. "Are they really dead?" He just gave me a sad nod. Sobs erupted from me. I fell to the ground. I curled into a ball and let myself weep.
"Mai.." I heard Suguru say behind me. "We said that we would protect them!" I shouted from under my arms. "We said that if she didn't want to go, that we would fight with them! That we would fight off Tengen himself! Why?! Why couldn't we protect them?! Are we that weak?!" I wailed.
"I'm sorry.."
"Is that all you can say?!" I looked up at Suguru. "He killed them! He almost killed me!! Look at you! Your covered in bandages!" I was now directing my anger and shame at Suguru. "He killed Riko, Kuroi! He killed Satoru!"
"Mai, wai-"
"No! Don't tell me to calm down!" I shouted at Shoko. "We're supposed to be the strongest, and we got taken out by some fucking dude without a shred of cursed energy?! We couldn't protect 2 girls?! What a fucking joke! He killed Satoru infront of me, I watched him stab him in the head! He fucking made me into a punching bag, I was useless! I let Satoru die! He's dead! I couldn't do a damn fucking thing! Don't tell me to calm down!" I felt Suguru wrap his arms around me and bring me into his chest. I grabbed onto his shirt and let myself sob.
"Mai, listen. We need to tell you something," Shoko came up to me. I felt her rub my back, trying to comfort me. "I'm sorry you went through that. I'm sorry that you guys had to endure that. But Satoru isn't dead." My sobs came to an immediate halt.
"What? Yes he is. I saw it happen." My anger was beginning to bubble back.
"I- fuck. Okay. I mean, yes he died. But Satoru-"
"What about me?" All of our heads turned to the doorway. There stood a bandaged Satoru, mouth full of apple.
"What the fuck?" I stared at him dumbfounded. I turned back to the others, then back to Satoru. "You died." I stated.
"I did." He confirmed. Now kneeling in front of me. "But I was able to use a reversal technique. I was dead, but only for a moment. I'm sorry if I scared you." He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his face. "See? I'm the real deal. You're not imagining things, Mai."
I threw myself at Satoru. I let my arms envelope his neck and clung to him. "You're here."
"I'm here." He snaked his arms around my waist and held me there as I left out soft sobs of relief.
"Then Riko and Kuroi..?" I looked at him and Suguru.
"I'm sorry, we couldn't save them.." Suguru replied.
"What about..?" I didn't want to say his name. I didn't want to think about him.
"He's gone. I made sure of that." Satoru tightened his arms around me. "Come on, let's get you off the floor." Satoru picked me up. Now that the adrenaline was subsiding, I could feel every ache in my body. I let out a groan.
"Here, let me." Shoko came up behind us. She used her reversal technique and fixed me up. I let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank you.. wait, are you okay?! I'm so sorry!!" I reached out to her, but could only get so far as Satoru was holding me. She grabbed my hands and gave them a squeeze.
"It's okay, don't feel bad. Your body had a natural reaction after what you went through." She tried to reassure me, but I could already see the bruises forming on her neck. I didn't say anything back, but the guilt didn't subside. "I'm going to go out for a smoke, okay?" She was quick to leave.
"I'll go talk to her, don't worry Mai." Suguru quickly went after her. Satoru sat me down on the bed.
"You okay?"
"..no. Now I feel awful about hurting them.. I didn't even get to apologize to Suguru.."
"You'll get a chance, don't worry. But I meant your wounds. Are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah I feel fine. Shoko helped a lot." There was a short silence. We didn't want to talk about what happened, but we needed the closure.
"What happened? After I passed out I mean."
"... I woke up and saw you on the ground. Toji, the guy, wasn't anywhere nearby. There was a lot of blood around you and you felt cold, I thought you were dead. I carried you with me, used a reversal technique on you, but it's not as good as Shoko's. I stopped the bleeding, but you weren't waking up. Toji came out, we fought, I killed him. I found Riko. Suguru met up with us, he took you to Shoko. You've been here ever since." He didn't go into detail, but I understood what he was trying to tell me.
"..are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine."
"No, I mean. Are you mentally okay?"
"Are you?"
"...no, not really."
"It'll take some time before we are again." Satoru sat down on the bed next to me "I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"Because I scared you."
"You did. I thought you were actually dead, Satoru. That was the last thing I saw. It was fucking terrifying. But you don't have to apologize. It's what we get into, you know? Jujutsu Sorcerers. We put our lives on the line.."
"..but?" He urged me to continue my thoughts.
"But I can't imagine a world without you. I don't want to be in a world without you. Just the thought of it makes me sick. I love you. I love you so much." I felt Satoru grab my chin and turn my head to face him. His lips engulfed mine in a desperate kiss.
"I love you." He said as he pulled away. "When I saw you.. laying there, blood coming from your stomach and mouth.. I went fucking ballistic. I was going to kill him. I wanted to make him suffer. I wanted him to die a thousand times over. I thought.. I thought he took you from me." Satoru pulled me into a hug. "To live without you is worse than death."