The System

001

I don't know exactly how this works. A very good friend suggested I document this... experience so future generations can read this and learn.

I am Paris Ryder. And I have been called many names. Monster, nonhuman, savior. 

And I am all of the above.

The truth is, I don't know what I am, but I want to know. And I guess, this documentation could help me.

It all started on the morning of September 9th, 3044. My 18th birthday. I was finally an adult, but the day I had been dreading was here.

There was a war raging outside my family's picture-perfect picket fenced home, and I, being the daughter of the most perfect family in Solis, was expected to choose the side of Solis today. We were winning the war. It was no surprise.

But Lunares was struggling. They needed warriors, and I wanted to be one. 

I woke up and was immediately greeted by my mom, leering down at me. 

"Wake up, dahling!" she said.

I groaned and hid under the covers.

"Don't hide, sweetheart!" I heard my mother say. "Today's the day you choose the side of Solis and make us all proud!"

"I don't even want to choose this shithole of a country," I muttered under my breath.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"Nothing! I'm coming out," I threw open the covers and got up to sit on my bed.

"Great! Now go get ready," Mom said. "The choosing ceremony is at 8 pm, you need to be ready."

"Mom, I have 12 hours to get ready," I said. "I don't think you need to be pushing punctuality on me this early."

"Oh, I know! I'm just so excited," she squealed as she danced out of the room.

Not even a 'happy birthday'. To my parents, I was just a piece of gold waiting to be made into another gold medal. Another achievement. 

I doubted they even loved me for me.

They did name me after what once was the city of love, so I suppose they did love me. In their own way.

However, I did not want to be loved that way.

Sometimes, I wished I could have a better family. We didn't have to be rich, as long as I was loved, it would be enough.

My father was a war hero. My mother, a nurse on the sidelines. They met when he got injured badly and my mother catered to his needs so well, he described her as having an "angel's touch". My mother, however, was not angelic in the slightest.

Maybe she put on an angelic mask, but what hid below was no angel.

Like I said, my parents only liked me because I was an achievement to them. A symbol of legacy, if you may. But I always felt that my father must love me, even a little bit.

I never felt that with Mom.

She grew up poor, having little to nothing and having but a fruit to eat on good days. I think she felt that she needed to cling on to this fantasy family of hers, but she seemed to have forgotten that this was not a fantasy, and I was a real person. And real people have real emotions, and I was no exception.

I was raised by a revolving circle of nannies, and they were my only friend. In truth, I had never actually made a real friend, so I suppose, in a way, I was always lonely.

But, I never felt lonely. I think I adapted to not having any real friends quite quickly, and that spared me a great deal of pain.

But now, I know what it feels like to be lonely, and it is like the ocean of loneliness that was inside of me is finally crashing ashore. And I've never felt this horrible.

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A/N

Thanks for reading this chapter! I'm sorry it's so short! I have a whole plotline figured out, so it's kind of hard for me to go off track and lengthen this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it though, and please vote and consider following if you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think, and I'll hopefully see you next chapter!

XOXO,
Valentine