Parallax

Chapter 7

"It's been so long since I've been able to appreciate the flames without having to worry that it's the very thing that can destroy our kind" Carlisle spoke from beside her. Bella turned her head to see Carlisle standing beside her, a little further back from the fireplace.

Bella only nodded but didn't reply but she silently agreed to his sentiment. It was different when you know the very thing that can destroy you is something that is essential to all living things.

"If I would have known that all I needed was fire to destroy myself, I wouldn't probably be here right now." Carlisle was talking about the period when he loathed what he had become and did everything that he can to try and destroy himself. Bella knew that story to heart because that was the first thing that Carlisle shared to her when he told her of his history.

"There are things that is better left that we didn't know then, just like this. You're right. If you would have known then, you wouldn't be here and your family would not be here now. I wouldn't have the opportunity to meet all of you... You started the events that led you to where you are right now. If not for you, I wouldn't have met Jasper... "Bella paused and Carlisle was looking at her in confusion. "And Alice... and Rosalie and Emmett and Esme and You and... Edward... I wouldn't have met Edward" Bella corrected immediately but then she added.

"But there are also things that maybe if you would have known, you could have changed the outcome for the better like if you would have known how it would affect everyone by leaving, maybe you could have prevented it from happening in the first place." Bella held her gaze and Carlisle was taken aback by Bella's bluntness.

Carlisle stared at her far longer than necessary before he finally sighed heavily and returned to gazing at the fire before them.

"I believe my family and I owe you an apology Bella." He told her sincerely. Bella's brows furrowed. She couldn't accept the apology yet because it wasn't her that he should be apologizing to but Carlisle did not know that yet.

"There's no need for the apology yet... only because there's more to my situation that I need to tell all of you and I know I've been keeping it suspenseful but it's a little bit complicated right now and I do need your help" Bella could see the curiosity in Carlisle's eyes but he'll have to wait much longer before she can explain everything. She was afraid that when Edward arrives and hears everyone's thoughts about her if he heard it prematurely, he might think twice about meeting her and end up running away again. She couldn't afford to lose more time right now.

If only her shield was controllable as a human, she wouldn't mind talking to the Cullen's now about her situation then shield everyone so Edward couldn't read their thoughts when he arrives but that was not possible at all.

"On the way... "Bella started to say, "I've thought about what I was going to say to you and the rest of the family... About all of you leaving...

I want to understand why? Why leave? Was that even necessary?

I don't know your reason or why you even allowed it to happen as a coven leader but I'm not one to question your authority and as someone who has been Edward's companion far longer than anyone else, you must have understood the struggle that he had to go through to make that decision."

It took a while before Carlisle could respond.

"I have underestimated you Bella, forgive me."

Bella smiled and just shrugged. "Don't worry. It's not just you. I've been getting that a lot."

Carlisle smiled in spite of himself then sighed.

"Edward... He has always been conflicted with whatever we are... But you know that already..." he looked at her. No, she did not know that because the Edward that she had grown up with didn't have these issues.

She had heard stories of him deviating from the lifestyle during his first few years with Carlisle but never this serious but then, Alice came along and whatever his struggles were, it no longer mattered. There was no more room for feeling sorry for his existence because he had found his reason for living.

"He wanted you to have a normal, happy life as a human... Free from the danger that our kind brings" Carlisle added.

"And do you think that would be possible knowing what I know and knowing that in the first place, I was meant for him?"

He shook his head in response.

"I don't think Edward really knows the consequences of what he did... he left me broken Carlisle... "Bella started to relay the story, thinking about how Charlie felt while he told the story to Alice. She was relaying the same story to Carlisle and to anyone who was listening.

There was a strangled cry from behind them and both of them turned around at a devastated Esme. She was in front of Bella instantly and hugged the girl while Esme tried to keep from sobbing. Bella felt sorry for her mother that could not cry tears anymore.

"Please don't be upset Esme. I didn't intend for you to be upset" Bella rubbed her back, trying to calm her down and looked at Carlisle sadly. "I'm not trying to lay guilt on you but you have to know that I was hurt, not just by Edward leaving... but by everyone else as well. I don't want to feel that way... again. You are my family... and I don't want to lose my family."

"I can see the error of letting Edward decide what was best for you when the family didn't really see leaving as a solution. We thought it was the best course of action for you to have that normalcy that Edward wanted for you. Forgive us Isabella.

Especially me, when I allowed Edward to go, I believed he would eventually realize that it was a mistake to stay away from you, that he'll eventually return right away but he was much more stubborn than I thought. I do hope his stubbornness did not cause him his chance of being with you... "

Bella shook her head. "I don't think I'd be able to stop loving him even after what he did" since having a mate, Bella knew that it would not be easy to stop loving your mate so she knew this Bella still loves Edward.

"He hasn't stopped loving you that we can attest. He just needed to see past his inner demons to be able to accept that he's not destroying you by loving you" Carlisle told her sincerely and he was right.

"I want to help him understand that. Who wouldn't want to love and be loved in return? Even if he thinks that he's the darkest, most evil creature of the night, he deserves that love. The universe owes him that"

Carlisle placed his hand in her shoulders in an affectionate gesture. "Thank you for loving our son. We will do everything in our power to make sure that he sees reason. Even if it means holding him down to keep him from running away again. "Bella couldn't help but smile at that. She wanted that too, for this Bella.