Written In Reverse

Part 7

"You want to make sacrifices now so you can be comfortable later, and that's okay. Deanna wants to enjoy the fruits of her labor right away, and that's okay too. But you don't have to give up each other's views to satisfy the other person."

"So are you saying dapat maghiwalay nalang kami?"

"Hindi naman sa ganon. Try nyo pa rin mag compromise. But if mahirap na talaga then go get your goals by yourself. Alam ko kayang kaya mo yan. And let Deanna enjoy the way she wants. Go your separate ways"

Napa buntong hininga lang ako.

She's right. Wala akong right kontrolin kung anong gustong gawin ni Deanna kasi sya naman ang naghirap para dyan but I don't have to stick around either.

I can build my dreams by myself and how I want it. Unfair din naman sa kanya if pilitin ko sya to match my goals.

"And that's my honest opinion" malungkot na sabi ni Kyla.

"Thank you bes ha, I know I can always count on you to tell me the truth."

The way I see it, there's really no way around this.

If we're gonna have a future together, dapat same vision.

"You're gonna have to talk to her if you want to end it. Your relationship deserves closure"

"I know bes. Hindi ko pa kasi alam kung pano ko sasabihin sa kanya if ever. I need time to think about it muna"

"I understand bes but I hope that you won't take too long to decide. Unfair din kay Deanna if you leave her hanging. She deserves to know para na din alam nya if dapat na ba syang mag move on. The earlier the better" payo ni Kyla.

"Of course, bes. I'll do my best"

After we said our goodnights, thoughts swarmed inside my head again.

Should I tell her before or after the conference?

What if ma apektohan yung laro nya if I tell her before?

Marami pa naman nag aabang sa comeback nya.

I think it's best to give this a lot of thought muna.

Actually, I haven't told Deanna about the IVF thing. Ayoko kasing isipin nya na kulang sa akin kung kami lang dalawa.

I mean okay lang din naman sakin if ever but kung may kakayahan naman kaming mag ipon for it, why not diba?

It would be nice to see little Deannas and Jemas running around the house.

Mas okay siguro kung makapag usap kami ng masinsinan.

Lay all our cards on the table.

Totohanan na kung willing ba sya to compromise for my plans and if willing ba ako mag compromise din para sa kanya.

At least masabi ko lahat sa kanya kung bakit nagkakaganito ako. If di nya kaya mag sacrifice for it, then walang pilitan.

But I need time talaga para mapakalma ang sarili ko. Magkakasigawan lang kami if we do it too soon.

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It's the day before dadalhin na kami sa accommodation.

Thankfully, wala naman akong narinig mula kay Deanna since I messaged her na I needed space muna.

I've really had some time to clear my mind and make peace with whatever decision I was gonna make.

I decided na after conference nalang talaga kami mag usap.

That way, hindi affected yung laro namin kung ano man kahihinatnan ng usapan.

I was packing my stuff and making sure I had everything I needed kasi nga bawal na lumabas don.

Nabigla ako when Milo suddenly jumped off the bed and ran straight outside.

Ano na naman kaya nangyari don? Baka naka kita na naman ng ipis.

Mag Baygon nalang ko bukas before umalis.

About a minute has passed ay may narinig naman akong nag doorbell.

I got up to check the peephole muna kasi wala naman akong ineexpect na bisita ngayon.

And to my utter dismay, it was Deanna.

Nak ng... time and space lang naman hinihingi ko eh. Ba't di makapag antay?

Batid ko na kaagad yung galit ko.

Author's Note: Hirap na kumita ng pera ngayon. Dapat practical palagi. I hope ya'll are doing okay financially and spiritually.

Be Kind.