I LOVE YOU in a WRONG WAY

*1*

My alarm went off so i got up and got ready to go to school.i just cooked the right breakfast and lunch.I don't eat too much 'coz i maintain my bodyfitness.I'm still going to school at seven o'clock but its only four o'clock i'll be ready to go in really early.Im still little sleepy because i went to bed at eleven o'clock,Kath and I were still chatting.
I opened my RPA and i saw her was online."ang aga naman niyang nagising?"i whispered.just a few seconds ago since i saw her online,her chat suddenly appeared.

"goodmorning shaun,kumain kana ba?,wag kang papalipas ng gutom ha.study well .mag-iingat ka sa pag drive ,motor paman din yan.LOVE YOU!<3 " her chat.

"Good morning too baby kath!tapos na po ako kumain,don'worry on me.ingat ka jan ah.wag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo.i will drive safely promise:) love u too"reply ko.

i turned off the wifi and took my bag to go to school.it's true what kath said that i drive motorbike and not a car (i don't want traffic)
I'm in manila and she's in zamboanga del sur,it's too far between us.

I got to school safely.It was just right to go to school because it was fifteen minutes before the professor came to the room.I'm on the left,next to the entrance door.one meter apart from each student to our classmate,so it's okay.
"Good morning everyone!"Bati sa'min ni Professor Ramirez."Listen everyone,you probably know that you need to take the OJT or on-the-job-training and you will be assigned to different locations.first of all,your parent should know that you will be given OJT in other location not just here in our area.Second,you need to will bring  your own money for eight weeks or equivalent for two months.And finally,do everything to get  the OJT approved or pass.Is it clear?"he says ."Yes Sir!"Pag -agree naming lahat.

Natapos na yung unang class kaya dumiretso na ako sa Faculty nang E Office so i can ask him where i can be assigned.I have no problem with which location to me because I just told my parents that they agree immediately and send what i need.

Kumatok ako ng tatlong beses for respect then i open a door para hanapin ang Prof. ko
"Good morning Mr. Ramirez".paunang bati ko"Good morning too,Ms.De Luna.What can i help you?"he ask me."Can i ask you about sa location for OJT?"nahihiya kong tanong."Ahhh iyon ba?,sa Pagadian, Zamboanga del sur ang location mo,sa may SM extention."he said.
"AH-EHH kase-- "bakit may problema ba sa location?"pag putol niya sa sinasabi ko "ah wala-wala po Sir."pagtanggi ko."sige po Mr.ramirez,thank you po!"sabi ko tapos napatakbo nalang ako dahil mixed na ang emotions sa katawan ko.

Napatigil ako sa pagtakbo dahil na feel ko na yung kaba sa loob ko.Tumingin ako sa phone ko and i see myself pale. Ganito siguro yung na-excite ka tapos napalitan ng kaba at fear yung nasa loob mo.hindi ko ma-imagine na andon ako sa location na iyon na makakasama ko si kath.sigh.
Hindi naman sa ayaw ko sa location pero kasi....ba't don pa?madami namang iba di'ba?kahit saang pagkakataon pwedeng-pwede kaming magkita ni kath.

WHAT THE LOCATION!?!..HAYST!!Nakakainis naman eh...Is it signed to recognized that kath and I really are?or way 'to para makilala ko pa sya ng higit sa pagkakakilala ko.Oh World,naguguluhan na talaga ako,promise.Nakakakonsensya na talaga ang mga pinag-gagawa ko sa babaeng 'yon.
'Kala ko laro-laro lang bat naging reality na ang ganap?Ba't ang Complicated?Ang Gulo!!!!
Baka sumabog na'ko..woohhhhh!!

Maybe destiny provides a way for me to help her with the problem she's carrying. I know kath is having a hard time in situation to work for her family.I'll just keep quiet even if we meet on the road as if nothing happened,she doesn't even know me.

Umuwi na ako pagkatapos ng Klase.hindi kase ako makapag-focus nang maayos dahil sa location na pinagsisisihan kong tinanong ko sa E Prof. namin,na maaasign sa'kin.
Naka-open lang ang account ko sa RP pero lutang ang isip ko.masyado yata akong napagod kaka-overthink sa magaganap next week.If i can go first,wala naman nang pasok eh.so that i find a house to live in.Kahit medyo malayo sa site ng naasign sa'kin basta malapit ko syang  sight,okay na'ko.

Hindi ko na pala kailangan na humanap ng bahay na matitirhan ko habang nasa site pa'ko naka assign dahil naalala kong may property kami don.
"Hi mom!buenas tardes mom(good afternoon)!"pagbati ko kay mom"buenas tardes tambien(good afternoon too),shaine!"balik na bati ni mom sakin, si mom ang nagturo sa akin mag spanish kaya natuto ako.I practice so hard para mapag-aralan ang hindi ko gaano makuhang mga words,ang hihirap kase ibigkas eah.

"How are you,Sweetie?is your class over?"mom asked me."yes po."yiee ang galang ko ngayong araw.ano na naman bang nakain ko?"ba't napatawag ang sweetie ko?may kailangan ka ba?"pagtataka ni mom."actually...uhmm..kase e..m-meron po"nahihiya kong sinagot si mom.im twenty-four already pero para pa 'kong bata umasta.nahihiya nako,minsan.hindi ko pa kase kayang tumayo mag-isa.yung tipong pera pa nila ang gamit kahit may sarili naman akong bank account.nagtitipid kase ako.hehhehe.
"what do you need my sweetie?"tanong ni mom na parang nangungulit pa."D-Do we have property in Zamboanga?"nahihiya kong tanong.napipilitan na lang akong sumagot dahil kinulit nalang ako ni mommy."San banda sa Zamboanga?Del sur or Del norte?"pagtataka niya."sa Peninsula po"tanging sagot ko.napakamot nalang ako ng ulo dahil sa sobrang hiya.
"i call you back,ipapa-asikaso ko nalang kay Ronel ang kailangan mo.im sorry sweetie.mal-late na kami sa meeting."pagmamadali ni mom."okay,bye."sabi ko "take-- hindi pa ko tapos magsalita ay in-off na ni mom ang tawag. Lagi naman silang ganonkapag nagmamadali,they always say na i call you back  pero hindi na natutupad.Imbis na sila na ang gumawa ng kailangan ko ay lagi nalang nila pinapagawa sa iba.kahit konting ....hayst nevermind. wag ka nang mag-isip lalo matthew ,lalo ka lang map-pressure.

i message mom coz i know she doesn't call me back.

Hanggang financial lang naman ang kaya nilang ibigay e,they don't know what i feel.yung nangungulila ako sa kanila every time na makikita ko yung ibang tao with their parents.
Bibihira lang naman nila ako kamustahin,kung kailan lang nila ako maisipan tawagan or may kailangan ako sa kanila.puro money,money,business,meeting,meeting ang sinasabi nila sa t'wing tinatanong ko sila kung kailan sila uuwi.hindi kase nila kayang bigyan ng kahit anong laman yung puwang na handa naman tumanggap ng pagmamahal galing sa kanila.