[AmoNeki] Outlaws of Love

Chapter 1

I stopped. And his kakuja nearly scratch me, just in another centimetre away. My eyes wide and my breath laboured.

Disbelieve, sorrow, confusion, hurt, and .. loss.

" ..  Kaneki ?", I gasped.

He twitched. I got his reaction ! I don't expect him to react to my gasping, yet his eyes wide too, although just for a second.

He crumbled, and shaking . The kakuja dissapeared into a dust. He hugged himself and shaking heavily. It's like he's enduring some pain ... or denying something worse.

He snapped his head up, stared at me. I kinda nervous and terrified when I look him into the eyes. He seems so hurting. It's stabbed me indirectly, if I must say.

" Who are ... you ?"

***

I often heard about the hurt of separation. In my case, the separation in a love extend.

My colleagues and underlings ussualy consult to me about their love life. Either it about two-timed, sexual intercourse gone wrong, break up, or any other. Sometimes it makes my funny eyebrow twitch. Me myself never been in love, yet they talk to me like I'm some expert in love.

It happens before I fell to him. A mere ghoul that stole my heart and refused to let go, but go in his own accord, leaving a deep wound in my chest. I don't think that I ever felt that deep into someone.

Our first impression is not what anyone would imagine, with love-dovey and pink atmosphere or some cheesy scene like a soap opera. We tried to kill each other  (for Kaneki's case, when he gone insane). Our second impression is not easy either, even their third , and fourth. Differencies makes our eyes blind from truth, turn them into arch-enemies. Mostly, it my side that got on my disadvantage, but I won't complain.

Maybe other people can assumed that we're like cat and mouse. We destinied to finish each others . But, that's what they defined from what they saw outside the layer, a fragile, protective layer we built to brace the world. In doing so, we reached an understanding, but our conditions and timing always clashed and burn it into hatred, from outside.

And , not long after Owl incident on Antique, we met. Drowned on the stream of past, standing and facing each other's faces. We had a comfortable silence until he took my left palm and grip it.

I close my eyes, tried to feel the heart throbbed that resonating through my hands . Ah, it seems like he took my other hands and led it into his chest.

Thadump... thadump..

A blush raised in my cheek. I'm faking  a cough and tried to get him look into my eyes, deep .. more deep ..

And we clasped our lips in perfection. He shuddered and clinging into my neck. I hugged him, pulled him to get the kiss deeper and stirred my head, so I can get a better angle. He smiled through the liplocking and I stared at his eyes.

The insecurity and fear in his eyes previously gone, replaced by happiness, relief, and adoration, if I may assume.

I smiled back to him , and took him into the deep of the night.

How nostalgic. I can even remember his tone , when he said that scared word . We broke the kiss and stare at each other like before, but in a close range.

"  .. I can't helped it. I-I think I fell to you, CCG-san"

I smiled, " It's Amon. Amon Koutaro"

He chuckled. I hug him closer, and his nose touching mine.

" Yes .. Koutaro-san"

' How nostalgic. Never I thought that  we'll reunited, we can't be together . No matter what we done to fight it. His suffering, i can't look it anymore..'

I never felt lost like this before, and now he makes me experience it.

... Since then, what i remembered is everything turn in black. And i hospitalized with a sour taste in my tongue.

And it occured not long after i can't find even a glimpse of clue about whereabout of my beloved, that gone and left after the end of Aogiri incident. I can imagine what he think about. Our third battle stole one of my arms , led him into guilty. His struggle to protect his friends in Antique , his failure to protect them, and the guilt for killing when he didn't want to be a killer, like what he confessed to me before. It's a naive thinking that everything would be normal after what happen.

I fell into darknesss , the same one that he'd been through.

And it seems that what i need is to gave up my humanity.

To be continued.