trust me you don't want to fucking read this.
i warned you.
why can't someone just come fucking save me. i'm so fucking done and i need help so badly. god why doesn't anyone give a fuck about me? what the fuck did i do ?
if you can find a reason to stay, standing in the pouring rain. you can drive all night looking for the answers in the pouring rain. -cigarette daydreams
what happens if i can't find a reason by myself? i wish someone would just come help me. i need help.
all of my emotions feel like explosions when you are around. i broke all of my bones that day i found you crying by the lake. was it something i said to make you feel like your a burden? if i could take it all back, i swear that i would pull you from the tide. -line without a hook
yeah. it was something you said. i wish you could take it all back, but it's going to come back and hurt me, every single day. every single thought that hurts me, your voice is the one saying it. it's too late to save me. i can't get rid of the thoughts. i can never get rid of them, and i wish they would just go away. i wish you could take it back. so badly.
i wondered if i could hold it and fall in love with it too. you told me to buy a pony but all i wanted was you. -hidden in the sand
all i ever wanted was you. your love. affection. when you couldn't give it to me, everything got worse. it piled up, and eventually became too big for me to see over. i can only ever hate myself, and it feels impossible. i can't fall in love with it, and i can't buy a pony. i just want your fucking love. anyone's fucking love
are you tired of me yet? i'm a little sick right now but i swear when i'm ready i will fly us out of here. i'll cut my hair to make you stare. i'll hide my chest and i'll figure out a way to get us out of here. -this is home
you have to be tired of me, of the shell i am, of the terrible things i say and the terrible thoughts that i have. i know i'm tired of it. i'm really sick right now, but i'll figure out a way to get us out of here. out of the thoughts. out of the cold, dark, sad hole i've fallen into. i promise. i'll save us one day.
whether or not it be in another world.
shout at the wall cus the walls don't fucking love you. there's a reason that london puts barriers on the tube lines. there's a reason that london puts barriers on the rails. there's a reason they fail. -jubilee line
i can't shout at the wall because someone will fucking hear me. i can't tell anyone anything because then i'm playing the victim, or i've done everything wrong, or something something something. there are only ever lame fucking excuses. i hate myself for the excuses i make up, and for the things i say to people and to myself. i'm fucking miserable and the only thing i can do for myself is make it worse. it absolutely fucking sucks to be the antagonist for yourself. of course there's a reason that london puts protections. i'm one of those fucking reasons and that's why i hate myself. the worst part about everything is that i don't even know why i hate myself and everyone else so much. people can only make the things i say to myself so much worse, so why do i keep trying?
how can you miss someone you've never met? but can you find me soon because i'm in my head. -idk you yet
i'm in my head, and i'm making things worse and worse every day. it's unbearable and what's really pathetic about it is that i could say something. i could make it better. but i just have no fucking courage. i'm weak. i'm not worth it. of course no one is going to try and find me. they think i'm fine because of the fucking mask i wear every day. i miss this mystical character, and i just wish that they would find me. find me before it's too fucking late.
it fucking sucks to feel like no one cares.
