𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭 | 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫 ✅

2 - The Highlander's Wife

I went to sit in the armchair beside Jenny, "I dinna think I can explain it to wee Jamie and Lily Ellen," I frowned, "i-if..." I tried to hide the tears which quickly began to fall from my eyes, "they're so young, Jenny. Do ye think they'll remember him? Will wee Jamie ask why we call him so when there is no other Jamie around?"

"Ye're asking questions that need no answers," she reached across the divide between our seats and put a hand on my arm to steady me. "Ye're fussing over things that willna happen and canna be helped."

I took a few deep breaths, "aye, I ken, but I canna stop my mind from thinking -"
"Well dinna think so." She snapped, perhaps speaking to me more harshly than she ever had, "if ye think like that then ye're tempting fate. That's the last thing that you, I, and indeed, Jamie need."

I nodded.

She was right.

She always was.

From two floors below us, we heard the slam of the large entrance doors. "That'll be Ian and the bairns." She collected Kitty more securely in her arms and then stood up, "take a few seconds, I'll make ye a cup of tea."

I nodded my head in thanks and watched her go.

I wished, and not for the first time in my life, that I was as strong as my sister-in-law. She was an incredible woman, and I was just... me.

I relaxed against the back of the chair, imagining Jamie on his way home from Culloden moor and back to us. I imagined him smiling, riding a horse bareback and speaking Gaelic to the creature. I imagined the weather was good and the outcome of the battle which Claire had warned us about was different.

I failed on all accounts.

"Oh, Jamie," I said quietly, "come home." I wanted him to hold my hand, and to call me by my pet name again. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair as we made love, I wanted to kiss him. I just wanted him safe. I bowed my head and closed my eyes, praying. I had never done it before, but now seemed as good a time as any to start, "o Lord," I murmured, "I dinna care for the Bonnie Prince, for his father or even for the Highlands. I dinna care if every other man on that moor doesna return to their families, but please Lord let my Jamie return to us." In exchange, I promised to do anything that the Lord required of me for as long as I lived, because I could think of nothing that I had that the Lord would want in return.

The fire in our bedroom was going out, and I almost opened my mouth to tell Jamie to throw another peat brick into the flames to keep it going... but of course, he wasn't beside me. I sighed and got up to put the brick on myself, wrapping a blue shawl around my shoulders to keep me warm. I sighed and went downstairs.

The children were climbing over Ian, as usual, all of them chattering excitedly to him despite the fact that Maggie and Lily Ellen knew a collective sum of about thirty words between them. Wee Jamie was quite good at talking, and seemed to be able to translate most of the babbles from his sister and cousin when others could not. Ian was amazing with them, and he treated them all as if they were his own - just as Jamie did with Maggie and Kitty when he was home.

"Okay, ye wee terrors," I chuckled as I took Margaret from Ian's stump and held her, "leave ye Uncle Ian alone, now." Lily Ellen continued to pull on Ian's hair, ignoring me entirely. Wee Jamie was laying in Ian's lap, settling just long enough to listen to me before he went back to tormenting his uncle.

Lily Ellen was sitting on Ian's shoulders, laughing and tugging on his ponytail, "ah they're a'right, Eira. Dinna trouble yerself -"

Jenny came into the room with a tray of teacups and a teapot, milk and sugar holders. "Tea!" She called out. Maggie wiggled in my arms and I put her down. She joined wee Jamie and Lily Ellen, who were excitedly waiting for Jenny to put the tray down, no longer by Ian but rather by the table.