Sweet Creature ▹ Alec Lightwood [2] ( SLOW UPDATES )

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"It's not that," Adrian said quickly. He decided to slide closer then, pressing in close under the blanket. "It's just the way you've been kissing me lately. It's changed." Alec frowned then, genuinely confused, and Adrian released a small laugh. "Not in a bad way. Just different." Adrian tilted his head, catching Alec's eyes briefly before Alec jerked them away, the only sign that he was suddenly embarrassed. "I think I know what it is, but I don't want to jump to conclusions and make you think..." Think that I want more than you can give right now, Adrian finished to himself, unable to get the words out of his throat. It was a real worry, that Adrian was reading too much into deeper kisses when they were alone.

"And what conclusion have you jumped to?" Alec asked, his voice nothing but a murmur, eyes glued to the flames leaping inside the fireplace. He leaned in to throw in another log as Adrian studied him, clearly trying to avoid eye contact now. Adrian chewed on the inside of his cheek. He was quiet for so long that Alec dragged his eyes away from the fire, pinning him with a look that had Adrian scrambling to look away instead, his heart seizing in his chest.

"I think..." Adrian said slowly. His face felt oddly hot, and he chose to blame it on the fire. "...that it feels like you want more." Nothing but silence greeted his words, but it wasn't the type of silence that made Adrian want to shrink up in embarrassment. It was the type of silence that confirmed what he was saying, and suddenly his chest felt tight. The only sign Alec was as nervous as Adrian was his sudden shaky intake of breath.

"And if I said I did?" Alec whispered. Adrian could hear his heart beating in his ears. He stared at the flames for another moment, then abruptly turned to face Alec fully. It didn't matter how embarrassed either of them were. This was a conversation that deserved his full attention, that deserved eye contact and communication. It was abruptly clear to Adrian, then, just how many hints Alec had been dropping the past few weeks. The different ways Alec had been kissing him, the mild annoyance whenever they couldn't be alone, the amount of times he'd found a private place just to kiss Adrian senseless. The signs had been there the entire time. Adrian had just been too distracted to notice.

"Then I would ask you how far you want to go?" Adrian asked bluntly, and was endeared when Alec blinked a few times, like that hadn't even occurred to him. He had simply wanted more in whatever way that meant. Adrian smiled at him, then shrugged his shoulders, relaxing a bit. They had talked about this before, and now that Adrian was shaking his surprise off, it was easier to settle down from his sudden nerves. "You gotta talk to me, baby, otherwise I'm not going farther than what you've previously said you're comfortable with."

"It's hard to talk about it when I don't even really know what to expect," Alec admitted, waving one of his hands in the air, the only sign that he was getting annoyed. Adrian smiled, both amused and endeared. He could've given Alec some advice, but he had a feeling Alec needed to figure this out on his own. "I'd rather just figure it out as I go along. You've just been...very respectful, and it's kind of frustrating." At that, Adrian threw his head back and laughed, the sound echoing around his room. The thought that Alec was frustrated with Adrian was just hilarious to him.

"You're the only person I've ever known who thought a man being respectful was frustrating," Adrian said, still laughing. Alec nudged him rather hard, and Adrian tilted to the side, nearly falling over if not for the blanket cocooning them both. It just made Adrian laugh a little harder. "What, did you want me to throw you to the ground or something? Come on, Alec, you know me better than that."

"You know what I meant!" Alec exclaimed, a bit of red in his cheeks. "And no, I just figured you would've wanted to just as much as I do—" Alec cut himself off, but not before Adrian had heard too much. Adrian's laughter cut off abruptly, and the look Alec was pinned with was dark and serious, so different from just seconds earlier.